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Relationships

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Original poster

Talk to me about internet dating!

28 replies

TrafficJunkie · 03/03/2016 20:57

How does it go? Ive been talking to a few men but it always fizzles out, or they want to meet after 3 one line messages.

What is anyones experience?

OP posts:

donajimena · 03/03/2016 21:15

I agree with meeting quickly but not after a lazy three line message. I had lots of interest and crap messages such as 'hi sexy' the only one I agreed to meet was one who had clearly read my profile and referred to it. We met within a week and we are now in a long term relationship.

pocketsaviour · 03/03/2016 21:17

This thread may help Good luck OP!

Patheticfallacy · 03/03/2016 21:23

It took me ages! I met about 16 people over two years, got dumped at 3 months twice. Then met my amazing lovely dp who I love to bits, so the heartache was worth it. I say be persistent, treat it a bit like a job at first and don't be disheartened. It only takes one.

Justaboy · 03/03/2016 21:30

It's hard work that thread referred to above is a good one!.

I've been doing this for a while now. I'm early 60's the women there're around 53 to 60. Thus far 6 women one big problem though.

Can you bring hand baggage only, not the entire contents of the planes baggage hold;!

But number 7 seems promising so a matter of time as Patheticfallacy sez.

Original poster

TrafficJunkie · 03/03/2016 22:00

Well... Ill have a read of that thread!

Some people want to know tonnes of personal stuff right away. One guy asked if all my children are from the same dad!

OP posts:

Justaboy · 03/03/2016 22:04

TrafficJunkie It takes all sorts eh?,

and you'll find plenty of assorted allsorts on OLD..

GinIsIn · 03/03/2016 22:10

Worked for us - married 2 years now! Although I did first have to go on about 30 quite rubbish dates first, including what is memorably known amongst my friends as 'village people' week, when I had 3 different dates, all a bit weird, who were variously a policeman, a fireman and a builder.....

Not to mention all the creepy emails from men who collect bizarre things, or are blatantly married, or in their mid-30s and living with their mother....

But it's definitely worth it - I met the love of my life!

Original poster

TrafficJunkie · 03/03/2016 22:23

:) village people week... Hahaha.

OP posts:

Wharm14 · 03/03/2016 22:28

It's worth sticking it out - been with my DH for 5 years after meeting online, married for two and expecting our first child this week!
He was the only one who wrote nice emails, read my answers and seemed normal! We met after about three weeks of emailing each other and it felt right to wait that long, just go with your instincts but there are some lovely people out there. Good Luck!

SoThatHappened · 03/03/2016 22:36

It's crap, dont bother

donajimena · 03/03/2016 22:49

sothat is a bit down in the dumps today.
for you x
it can be awful. You have to set your boundaries very tight. It does work.

TheNaze73 · 03/03/2016 23:25

I've had one go at it for about 2 months. Lot of batshit crazy people of both sexes out there by all accounts!

Patheticfallacy · 04/03/2016 08:47

I'm glad I did it. Yes it is crap at times. But it's been worth it.

slimochuda · 04/03/2016 08:58

People's experience inevitably colours their own views. Given how hard it is in the modern world to meet new people this is fast becoming not only a mainstream way but the only way to encounter new people for relationships. Unlike the real world where the socially awkward or different simply do not appear, and spend their years buried in some obscure hobby or other, these people have a place and a voice for the first time. I find it a bit unkind that people use their own metrics of attractiveness to beat those that don't meet them over the head with. The world doesn't owe anyone a partner, but if you are open enough and take the right attitude, it almost inevitable you will find someone that enhances you. Best of luck

HotNatured · 04/03/2016 11:35

I met my DP on Tinder (blv it or not). He's amazing, and much more suited to me than any of my exes. I would never have met someone like him as we are in such different industries and live in opposite parts of London. I also had a good three months relationship from Tinder, he was lovely too, we just weren't right for each other romantically, but we are still friends and chat regularly

Justaboy · 04/03/2016 12:25

slimochuda Buried in awkward hobbies??

And just what is wrong with train-spotting I ask you? awkward? my butt;!.

Slowdecrease · 04/03/2016 14:33

Tinder is brilliant. It really is. Try it.

After that: meet quickly, do not get into extended texting with someone you dont know and may have no chemistry with.

After the date: texting will probably drop off a bit/level out. This is as much a sign that you have met a normal well adjusted man as it may be a sign they are not interested after meeting - choose to believe the first one if you want to give a relationship a chance to form. This person does not owe you a good night and good morning text and hourly check ins - they have a life of their own which you may or may become part of. Choose to believe the second and act accordingly if you want to scare the beejesus out of the guy and sabotage any chance of a relationship from the off.

Be relaxed, be chilled. You owe to yourself to take this slowly and feel it out. No man was ever scared off by a woman being relaxed.

Enjoy it.

blindsider · 04/03/2016 14:34

When I did OLD I either wanted to meet the person or didn't. I had no interest in 'getting to know them' over three weeks of emailing only to realise within 5 minutes of meeting there was zero chemistry!!

Patheticfallacy · 04/03/2016 16:21

My lovely dp only messaged once every few days when we met on okcupid. He wasn't messaging loads of others, he was hardly on there. Luckily I didn't take that as a sign of disinterest. Then after we met he'd message every other day or so. It's just how he is and I'm glad I didn't stress out about it (or maybe I did but kept it from him!)

Justaboy · 05/03/2016 00:00

It's interesting the "chemistry" perhaps its just a basic instinct thang where you have a gut attraction or you don't. Its further intriguing as one of my recent dates should have worked very well. I and she felt very good in the initial emailing and phone calls, many shared interests etc agreed on most everything all seemed as if it were in the bag, then we met. I had seen many pictures which were very representative of her but there was virtually no attraction either way.

Not that we would be in the mating and breeding process as she was post menopause and I don't want any more children but something wasn't right and i think it was just that gut level thing. She said your a very decent nice bloke but that was that! End of.

I did wonder if anything might have developed over time as it does with some people who meet each other at work and then it blooms after a while?

Slowdecrease · 05/03/2016 00:04

In my experience why DP, we messaged for about a month and I found him really engaging on an intellectual level, no suggestive texting etc, spoke on the phone a couple of times...went well, do when we met a month after first speaking my honest thought was that we were already "mates" - if we fancied each other that would be a cherry on top. Anyway the chemistry was instant, we kissed within about 3 minutes of meeting and we've now been together a year and half nearly.

Justaboy · 05/03/2016 00:10

Slowdecrease "we kissed within about 3 minutes"! don't want to know what happened after an hour LOL! but its nice to hear that anyway:-)

Slowdecrease · 05/03/2016 00:13

Well within an hour we were well on our way to being quite merry out on the town and later that night, well, the rest they say is history. As first dates go, it was pretty bloody brilliant

Justaboy · 05/03/2016 00:15

Slowdecrease Aww.. good to hear that:-)

MrsSnufkin · 05/03/2016 00:16

Please give it a go! I used to be in a very female dominated line of work, with not much time for a social life so in slight desperation turned to Internet dating. I had some amaaaazing dates in London, met some lovely men and yes, equally some dicks. BUT after a bit I met my lovely husband and I doubt I would have ever met him through any other means.

It's fun, exciting and you do get to meet people you never would in daily life (well, in relation to me anyway!). This was a year or so before Tinder but I'd give that a go too, if it had been around then! You only live once and dinner/drinks or whatever with mostly lovely men you have things in common with is not a bad way to spend your time. Be brave, I wasn't sure either but I do not regret a single date!

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