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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Why doesn't he believe me?

10 replies

Wishywashykatie · 02/03/2016 09:23

Told dh yesterday I don't feel the same about him or us anymore and I wasn't sure whether I wanted to continue to try. He just ignored me and pretended I didn't say it! This happens a lot he said the other day it's like you hate me and I said well I don't particularly like you much anymore he just ignores it? Back story: dh talks to ow on fb constantly and now I've lost respect and interest with him.

OP posts:

pinkyredrose · 02/03/2016 09:24

In that case it sounds like the relationship has already died. Could you move out?

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 02/03/2016 09:26

It's not really in his interests to acknowledge that kind of comment.

You can either take steps to leave him, or stay. He's not going to put more effort in because you make a comment that you don't really care anymore - at the moment he has the best of both worlds, you and the OW.

Are you hoping that he'll stop talking to OW, or do you actually want to separate? Either way, you need to leave, or ask him to leave, and take steps to actually separate. Just telling him you're not particularly interested anymore isn't going to do anything - it doesn't sound like he is, either.

freshprincess · 02/03/2016 09:26

It's. It that he doesn't believe you, it's that he doesn't care that you think that.

Can you leave easily?

Original poster

Wishywashykatie · 02/03/2016 09:26

No I can't I've no family money etc he has lots of family. He knows he will have to move out he just tries to pretend everything is fine and wants us to work I really don't?

OP posts:

TheNaze73 · 02/03/2016 09:27

I think the words you've used there are pretty ambiguous. You're not sure whether you want to continue to try, sounds quite muddled. It sounds like a thinly veiled threat rather than an action. I think you're going to have to spell it out, in no uncertain terms if you mean business or not

Original poster

Wishywashykatie · 02/03/2016 09:28

I don't sleep with him or involve him in my plans I've made it clear we aren't together I don't wear my wedding ring either how does he not get it?

OP posts:

Cabrinha · 02/03/2016 09:28

It's not a case of believing you or - he doesn't care whether it's true or not.
Genuine question: why are you still with him when he's chatting to other women on Facebook all the time?
(I presume you mean other women and not a specific "other woman")

Cabrinha · 02/03/2016 09:30

Oh crossed posts.

Of course he gets it. He's ignoring you because he doesn't want to do it. Why is it him that has to move out? If there's a good reason (e.g. You're going to be primary carer for kids) then you need to go to a solicitor for advice. He's not going to go just because you say so - of course he gets it!

hellsbellsmelons · 02/03/2016 09:34

Yep find a solicitor and get some advice.
What are your living arrangements?
Do you own the house jointly or do you rent?
Do you have children?
This will help us to help you.

Stormtreader · 14/03/2016 15:41

If youve made it clear youre not together and you dont wear your ring, what are you "continuing to try" with?
If you really mean "I want us to totally break up and for you to move out" then youre going to have to be a lot more clear rather than trying to hint around it.

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