My family -can I vent a bit please?

[Carlywurly]

Just had a big birthday and other than a couple of cards, I've heard nothing at all from any family member. Friends have been fab and spoilt me but i feel so sad. We're only a small family and we don't live close by but a call or text would have been nice.

I really can't imagine not contacting my dcs on their birthdays. I'm not sure whether it says more about me or my family.

It says your family are shit, no reflection on you. Your friends remembered and spoiled you, they are people who chose you as their friends.

I have 2 younger brothers (both in their 40's) and I didn't get a card off either of them, it was birthday at the beginning of Feb.

My youngest brother said happy birthday on Facebook after he'd seen everyone else's post.

My best friend also didn't send me a card, but gave me a card and a bottle of wine 3 days later when I saw her, which was very kind but my birthday wasn't on that day. I felt like saying "don't you buy stamps"

I always remember people's birthdays, it's important, especially the big ones.

I work full time, have a busy home life and would feel terrible if I forgot.

Happy birthday hugs to you. 💐

I know what you mean. If my dcs had a significant birthday, I'd do something special for them and couldn't contemplate ignoring it. However if you have lovely friends and a nuclear family around you, count your blessings. It reflects on your extended family not you.

Thank you. I have tears in my eyes reading this. I imagine I'll somehow be at fault for not contacting them, (that's happened before) but for this one I left it to them. That showed me.

So do you mean you DID get cards from them?

In our family, if a card is sent then there is not also the obligation to contact on the day - that's what the card is for.

I can totally sympathise. I am one of 5 kids but apart from siblings and mum no other close family. All of them are hit and miss when it comes to birthdays.

Me and husband celebrated our 30th within 2 weeks of each other so always do something joint as we had a weeknd away he planned a meal for my siblings, mum and his mum ans step dad. Until he contacted my mum she had forgot it was my birthday. Mum and 2 sisters came to meal only one just passed me a tenner no card or anything else. Mum got me a card and money but spent whole evening moaning. They couldnt make it anymore obvious they didnt want to be there. They knew it was a joint birthday celebration and a big birthday at that and none of them bothered giving husband a card or anyhing which I thought was a bit rude. His mum always seems to spoil me.

Its not just me they are always really shaky with my kids birthdays too

Ddeemummy - sounds familiar. Dp didn't get any cards from my family for his b day either. It just went totally unrecognised. I cringed but he wasn't bothered, luckily. His family are lovely with me too.

Its weird isnt it. Id like to think id make the effort with my son in law hes not bothered I dont think but I guess on occasions like our joint 30th it would be nice to be aknowledged