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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

A gift for me

8 replies

Bemine1234 · 16/02/2016 08:28

My ex bought me a gift Sunday.
We've been apart over a year. He left for Ow.

He didn't say it was for V day.
Just saw it was something I had wanted for a while and thought of me.

Odd ? I just wonder why ? And what his girlfriend would thing !

OP posts:

lighteningirl · 16/02/2016 08:39

Ask him it's not normal to buy your ex a thoughtful gift on Valentine's Day. More importantly how does it make you feel would you and it might not be possible but would want to try again? Six weeks before my ex married again he told me he would trade her for me in a heartbeat. I was still so hurt and angry pride stopped me having a full and Frank discussion about what he meant sounds bloody obvious now our lives and our dc lives could have been very different if we'd talked.

Talcumsoul · 16/02/2016 08:59

My ex still sends me gifts. I know he wants us to get back together.
Was it a lovers gift? Or a practical matey gift?
How do you feel about it? Thrilled? Unimpressed? Could you ask him his motivation? How would you feel if it was just a small gesture of friendship not of love or longing?

Original poster

Bemine1234 · 16/02/2016 11:44

It wasn't a lovers gift no.
Don't think we ever did this.

It was just odd. He never bought me anything when we were together.
It's more the fact he was so awful last year for many months after the split and now he's like the person I first met.

There is no need for random gifts.
He has someone else now. My birthday has been and christmas also.
I just find it odd, the change in behaviour and kindness.

OP posts:

Talcumsoul · 16/02/2016 13:18

Sometimes when a relationship has ended all you can think about is the hurt and bitterness. Then after time has put a buffer between you the memories of the good times resurface. This gift may be a product of his memories of your previous affection.
Or........ he may be sick of the OW and wants you back in his life.
Have you still got feelings for him or are you over him? If you do still think of him, tread carefully.

Original poster

Bemine1234 · 16/02/2016 13:29

He could of given me the gift next week or the week before when we exchanged children.

I am happy I am about three months on from accepting that it is done and I am very content no longer waiting just getting on with my life.

I wouldn't buy him a gift.
I just but for birthday christmas from the children. This was not from the children he made it clear that he had bought it.

OP posts:

pocketsaviour · 16/02/2016 13:30

I think you should post a photo of it on Facebook amd tag him and his girlfriend. I'm evil though

Talcumsoul · 16/02/2016 18:54

Pocketsaviour! You bad bad poster! I like your style though!

goddessofsmallthings · 16/02/2016 19:25

I'm with ps, but I don't necessarily agree with 'evil' having anything to do with it.

Imo the gift and the date it was given definitely warrants a photo and mention on FB as you have no other way of showing your gratitude for his thoughtfulness.

He's moved on, you've moved on, and there's no reason to suppose that his gf will think anything untoward of this kind gesture on his part.

Flip