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Original poster

Proposal

48 replies

Manopaws · 14/02/2016 13:47

I proposed to my girlfriend this morning but her response was she'll think about it :( what does that mean?

OP posts:
Marchate · 14/02/2016 13:48

It means she'll think about it

fastdaytears · 14/02/2016 13:49

How long have you been together? Do you think she was expecting this? Had you discussed marriage before?

Oh, and what is the ring like?

HeddaGarbled · 14/02/2016 13:53

Oh lovey, not what you were hoping for. How long have you been together and are you living together?

goodnightdarthvader1 · 14/02/2016 14:12

It means she'll think about it

This. Women aren't some complicated mystery that needs de-coding. It means she's not sure if she wants to marry you. Try talking to her and asking her (not the internet) why she's unsure. She could be unsure about marriage in general. She could feel you're going too fast. She could feel it's a bad time financially to get married. It could be anything - but you won't know unless you ask.

Original poster
Manopaws · 14/02/2016 14:29

We've been together for 3 years now and live together happily and the ring was one of Haribo's finest but will be replacing it with a real one next month while we are on holiday. There is the little problem of me still being married to my ex which I will have to sort out before we go any further. Just dipping my toe in the water to see if she want to spend the rest of her life with me.

OP posts:
Lweji · 14/02/2016 14:35

How about you sort out the divorce first and then ask her?

Icanseeclearly · 14/02/2016 14:35

A proposal is not "dipping a toe"! No wonder she wasn't over enthused, especially as you're not even available to marry yet. Talk about half hearted Hmm

mix56 · 14/02/2016 14:36

I think you should have made real steps to divorce your EX wife before asking your gf. I'm not surprised she's not impressed

Original poster
Manopaws · 14/02/2016 14:38

I am sorting out the divorce just haven't mentioned it yet.

OP posts:
Original poster
Manopaws · 14/02/2016 14:40

This is al new to me the last 2 times I was married I was proposed to dam leap years.

OP posts:
tingon · 14/02/2016 14:45

Are you hoping for third time lucky? She does right to have a think.

Lweji · 14/02/2016 14:45

Is it dome sort of secret divorce? Why isn't she aware of whatever you're doing towards divorce?
Don't you talk? If not, then it could explain why she'll think about it.

gymboywalton · 14/02/2016 14:48

i am only speaking for myself but if i were her i would be unsure because

a) you are still married Hmm
b)you have been married twice before-is your name Ross?
c) both of the above

fastdaytears · 14/02/2016 14:54

Haribo ring and your proposal is you dipping your toe in the water?

Wow!

She might not even think you're serious

Original poster
Manopaws · 14/02/2016 15:24

That could be the problem that I don't take anything seriously life to short to get hung up about detail. I'm just happy go lucky. The reason I haven't gone for a divorce before has been financial, these are now sorting themselves out and I now feel I can make the break without hurting my ex to much or making her homeless.

OP posts:
JenEric · 14/02/2016 15:30

You've been together three years but you are not yet divorced. You are therefore not actually able to marry her so it's fairly meaningless as words. A ring would be an actual gesture but you don't have one. You need to see how it isn't super special just to say the words.

Get a divorce.
Get a ring.
Do it properly.

If this would be your third marriage you should be going all out to make her feel super special. Tbh you are lucky to get a maybe.

loveyoutothemoon · 14/02/2016 15:30

So you need to ask us this question when you've used a haribo ring? GET REAL! She probably doesn't think you're serious. What a shit proposal!

loveyoutothemoon · 14/02/2016 15:31

And get a divorce first OMG!

JenEric · 14/02/2016 15:31

The gesture you should have made was telling her you are starting the divorce process as you want to be 100% hers.

CharminglyGawky · 14/02/2016 15:48

The haribo ring wouldn't have bothered me as such (although I would have thought it was very cheesy) my DH proposed without a ring as he knew that I would rather have some say in the ring I plan to wear every day for the rest of my life....

But I would have second thoughts about a proposal coming from someone who is still married, you need to get the divorce sorted first!

Lweji · 14/02/2016 15:51

She's probably wondering if you actually mean it or you're just testing her.
Or it was a spur or the moment thing and you'll change your mind.

I'd probably tell her about the divorce and that you'll propose properly when it's done.

WTAFF · 14/02/2016 16:00

Is this a joke? Sounds like the plot of a film/soap!

WottaMess · 14/02/2016 16:13

My dh was still married (albeit separated) when we met and it took a few years for him to sort it out. 2 years of which made sense, but after that was a real problem for me. And when he finally sorted it out (he honestly 'didn't feel married' any more and couldn't be bothered Angry) I wanted at least a year of us being together before we discussed marriage - I really wanted to be his choice, not just out of the frying pan into the fire so to speak. We finally got engaged once we had been together longer than his previous relationship had lasted. And we'll have been married 10 years next year, so it can work.

But there isn't any point having this conversation with her until you're divorced.

I'd get over the haribo but not the fact that the words are empty as things stand. That feels pretty crap.

Doingmyheadin2016 · 14/02/2016 16:17

Wind-up surely.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 14/02/2016 17:12

Bloody hell, OP, are you serious?

  • You're already married (and your girlfriend doesn't know you're thinking about getting a divorce)
  • You proposed with a candy ring
  • You describe a proposal as "dipping your toe in the water", which indicates that you haven't had a discussion about marriage at all prior til now.

I'm not at all surprised she said "I'll think about it."