Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

First date help

27 replies

Smartieskid · 09/02/2016 13:34

Off for drinks having an outfit crisis I'm 21 have option of jeans heels and a nice shirt with leather jacket or a longer black one
Second option is sleeved dress not fitted but not bagy in a maroon colour with tights and knee high black boots

OP posts:
Candycoco · 09/02/2016 13:38

Is it in a bar or a pub? And is it daytime or evening?

Original poster
Smartieskid · 09/02/2016 13:45

Evening and a bar but a fancy one

OP posts:
HavingAnOffDAy · 09/02/2016 14:35

When is the date?

I'd probably go for jeans, heels, nice top. Whichever coat makes me feel 'nicest' as I'm sure he won't even notice.

I have a first date on Sunday, though I'm considerably older than you, and that's what I'm wearing!

Good luck!

Original poster
Smartieskid · 09/02/2016 14:44

Thank you so much havinganoffday will try on later and see what I prefer will probably be a last minute thing and it's tonight 7.30 in panacking normally don't get like this over dates

OP posts:
goddessofsmallthings · 09/02/2016 15:08

If it's a fancy 'up town' bar I'd go for the dress or the skinnies with heels and a classy top and I'd leave the leather jacket at home in favour wearing the longer length black one.

Hope the date goes well and he whisks you off to an equally fancy restaurant for dinner.

You do realise that posting a dating dilemma on this board requires an immediate update as soon as you've returned home - or before if you're travelling by bus/train? Smile

Cabrinha · 09/02/2016 15:27

Or the OP could do the whisking off for a fancy dinner?

Always wear what you feel best in on any given day - it will make it the right outfit for the occasion. All your options sound fine! Good luck!

Resilience16 · 09/02/2016 17:08

Whatever you wear, enjoy and have a great date!

Original poster
Smartieskid · 09/02/2016 17:23

Well I'm currently in the bath two hours till I meet him hair in curlers will update when I'm back

OP posts:
Original poster
Smartieskid · 09/02/2016 22:08

Date is now over turns out he's a farmer and we had tons in common which was nice ended up going for dinner and drinks but I had eaten before hand as he said just drinks so was having to eaten when not hungry was forcing down my fish cake on the pluss he's a good kisser and he paid for dinner

OP posts:
Original poster
Smartieskid · 09/02/2016 22:09

And he said he wants to see me again which is great x

OP posts:
Resilience16 · 09/02/2016 22:23

Sounds like a good date.Go you! And do you want to see him again too?Yay!

HavingAnOffDAy · 09/02/2016 22:26

Sounds like it went well Smile good for you

Original poster
Smartieskid · 09/02/2016 23:21

Not sure I do like him just there wasn't an instant sexual attraction but it's not all about that he's not a massive messager which isn't to bad but I would like to talk more before a second date so might try and message him a bit more as I think he's just nervous x

OP posts:
goddessofsmallthings · 09/02/2016 23:24

Sounds like you had a good evening ... but what did you wear!

RedMapleLeaf · 10/02/2016 08:08

Why are you going to message a bit more? Confused

Cabrinha · 10/02/2016 08:16

Glad it went well, but I think you should have paid your own way for dinner Hmm

It doesn't sound like you spoke much before if you didn't even know he was a farmer! But I think it's good to meet quickly, because you can get over invested with conversations before you meet. I think messaging now is fine - but not at the expense of meeting up again soon - you'll get a much better feel if you chat in person. And of course decide if you change your mind about not fancying him. I wouldn't waste too many more dates on him if you don't though!

Original poster
Smartieskid · 10/02/2016 10:21

He offered to pay when I got my money out I wore the dress and messaging him a but More as we met on tinder so before really texting and getting to no each other he had asked me out for drinks

OP posts:
lazymoz · 10/02/2016 10:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lazymoz · 10/02/2016 10:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RedMapleLeaf · 10/02/2016 10:56

I think the contact-before-a-date is a difficult balance to get right. You need to know enough before meeting up with him, but don't want to build up false intimacy.

I asked about the messaging because in one breath you say he's not in to messaging and in the other that you're going to message more. I'm not sure that one follows the other there!

Original poster
Smartieskid · 10/02/2016 12:21

Well we only started speaking last week so not much chance to really text but he replied to me today and we've been talking a bit today which has been nice no offer of a second date yet but hasn't really come up in conversation so will see fingers crossed

OP posts:
RedMapleLeaf · 10/02/2016 14:19

Do you want a second date?

Original poster
Smartieskid · 10/02/2016 14:29

Yes I do we had a lot in common and he genuinely seemed lovely

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 10/02/2016 14:52

Why not just suggest one then?

Original poster
Smartieskid · 10/02/2016 15:02

I will when we start talking again he's gone off to do some tractor work so he said he would message me later this evening x

OP posts: