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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Divorce

9 replies

PaddywackHolland · 04/02/2016 16:33

I am getting a divorce, and I am meeting my solicitor next Monday for the first step. My husband and I have been living separate lives in the same house for around 8 months. He doesn't speak. Would it be really wrong not to tell him, just to let him get the petition? Some 18 months back he said we were to get divorced, and he was going to see a solicitor. Then he changed his mind, he didn't want a divorce and became angry when I said I was going to see a solicitor. (Grounds are his unreasonable behaviour over 22 years). So I am loathe to tell him because I think he will try to bully/cajole me out of it.

OP posts:
donners312 · 04/02/2016 16:40

well i'm not an expert have just started a divorce myself but I think you should tell him you are going to see the solicitor. Could you fill out the petition together to make it a bit more agreeable to him?

Why are you still living together?

FredaMayor · 04/02/2016 16:43

If the topic of divorce has come up and you have been living separate lives I'm sure it will come as no surprise to H. Save the discussion until he gets the papers, doing your homework on what you want to say if anything in the meantime. Your meeting on Monday will help you with that.

Original poster
PaddywackHolland · 04/02/2016 16:57

donners312 he frightens me, I simply could not imagine doing that! FredaMayor thanks, that is reassuring, I didn't want to do anything that seemed wrong. TBH I would rather never talk to him ever again.

OP posts:
singlemumbelfast · 04/02/2016 16:58

I wouldn't tell him as he could start trying to talk you out of it

singlemumbelfast · 04/02/2016 16:59

What will happen with the house? Have you discussed that?
I personally don't think it's wrong not to tell him

If you don't have any communication but live together it must feel very strained and telling him will make things worse for you

donners312 · 04/02/2016 17:01

Is he violent? In what respect are you scared of him?

Totally relate to not ever wanting to speak to them again. wish it was that easy!

Can you move in with a friend if he won't move out? I know the advise is not to move out of the home though I think?

Morasssassafras · 04/02/2016 17:03

I don't think it would be wrong not to tell him at this stage. Perhaps get it all done and then tell him a day before he receives it in the post if you'd feel it better he heard it from you.

singlemumbelfast · 04/02/2016 17:03

Unless you have children together under 16 he can ask the court to force you to sell the house

Original poster
PaddywackHolland · 05/02/2016 10:10

Thanks for your comments x

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