Milk

[WhoGivesAFlying]

DH has pissed me off stupendously!!! Over milk!!!!

He was going to the shop for tobacco for his uncle who lives around the corner (he's old). I asked him if he could also grab a pint of milk. He copped the right hump with this said he didn't want to go to the other side of the shop ( medium-sized Waitrose) to get it. Said its my responsibility and I should have got it when I was out before (I forgot). I said "but you are going in the shop anyway" and he said he's doing his uncle a favour because he's uncle did him a favour. I totally lost the plot and said why can't he do me this one favour!! I do everything for him, I told him he's and entitled arse, and to fuck off.

He came back with milk and said sorry but I'm still pissed about it

Phew, I needed that rant

Today I am only doing my washing. He sees all domestic chores as mine, even to the extent of putting things in the recycling when it's right next to him.

He's the money earner and I am respectful of the money he provides, why can't he be respectful of the home I provide and tidy his crap, I'm
Sick of putting sweet wrappers in the bin, of being the only one who knows how to put a cup in the dishwasher, arrrrr

I assume he will also be using this milk? He has said sorry, but talking about him doing you a favour is, well, doing you no favours. I have to remind mine to put crisp packets in the bin and put things in the dishwasher, it is annoying but then he is always tripping over my discarded nightwear and undies in the bathroom. Let his mess build up, make a pile of it if you must, but don't talk about him doing you favours for any small chore.

He did say sorry yes, but later that night, when he was going to the kitchen I asked him to take something for me too, he took great offence and said I was taking the piss!

Oh boy, Then you look at him with a quizzical expression - "taking the piss, I don't understand?" pull him up on these things, make him explain. Don't do 'everything' for him, that makes you a servant, sure as a sahm the bulk of the housework is yours during working hours but you are not the household maid. I detest men like this, they often wonder why they end up alone once the woman goes back to work and has the money to leave.

Yep, I've been applying for jobs. He says that's when he will help

He will pitch in and do his share - not help you (I hope you and he mean)
Hope you find a job soon then!

That to me seems like a classic example of someone having a tantrum temper about something else.

The "milk" is a trigger for him to display irritation and annoyance - when in fact the real issue is something else. It is utterly ridiculous (as I hope you can see) to have a problem with picking up milk if you are going anyway. The other side of the store?!? ha ha.

It's like if a woman is resentful that a man isn't pulling his weight with child care and festers inside for ages. Then one day he leaves some dirty plates/mugs out, and she goes mental at him. It's not about the dirty plates. It's about the bigger issue of the child care and not pulling weight. The plates are a trigger.

So the question is what is his is real problem? I would sit him down when you have time to be quiet and alone and are both calm and ask him about it. It may not have been you or the milk, it may have been that he was irritated with the uncle.

Do you have DC ?

He said it was because I said I didn't want his work desk in the out bedroom (it's in the front room at the mo). Even that is stupid, I think it's more to do with the fact he's been home all week, and we've just had enough of each other. He's going to his mums tonight, he can work there and help her out too. Then we can come back tomorrow refreshed

If my dh was going to the shop and I asked him to get something his reply would be, OK
That's how it works in normal equal relationships

Regardless of the size of the store, that is not a normal reaction from him