God I'm just done

[Newbrummie]

I just want to walk out.
I have four kids, the youngest is currently stood waiting in a car park with me for s taxi to take us to school in nothing but a shirt and trousers because he won't get dressed. He's screaming - aged 5 - I don't want to go to school. He has to because I have s cahms meeting for the 11 year old which apparently is all my fault and their dad is fighting me for full custody.
Just about on the verge of going well fucking have them then

[hugs]

Its so so hard with 4 dc on your own. Harder still when one or more have extra needs. I have been through hell when mine were younger. There were too many times to count how often i wanted to give up. I have 2 young adults now and 2 young teens. I promise it does get easier. I look back and wonder how i managed! Do you have any support? Do you get any time to yourself?

I've got nobody at all.
Just had two weeks to myself and as a result its unleashed the gates of hell, all kids are playing up, 11 year old had a major panic attack and it's all my fault apparently

Who says it's all your fault? The ex? Well he would, wouldn't he? Let's hope CAMHS have a more supportive viewpoint.

Im sorry i dont lnow anything about camhs, different country. You need support. I know there are lots available in my country. Can you speak to someone about what is avaikable to you? Dont try to do it alone, its to hard.

I'm sorry OP, it's so stressful dealing with DC's MH issues when you're on your own. Is your 11yr old engaging with CAMHS, is she cooperative? I hope the meeting goes okay

The child says it's all my fault, I know she's just a kid but fuck I've been through hell and back for them and I feel kicked in the teeth tbh

I had one to deal with on my own and that was hard enough so I can't imagine what you are going through with 4 to deal with.
But you are doing great. You really are.
And as others have said, it does get easier.
A big (((((HUG))))) for you!

Have you got a bag of warmer clothes for the 5yo, or a jumper and coat, because he may change his mind about dressing properly in the taxi or at school. Certainly hand a coat to his teacher, he probably won't be allowed out at playtime without one.

The taxi didn't turn up, we've ended up calling in sick, the poor kid was turning blue

Hey, it's not your fault at all, you're simply the nearest, and easiest, target for your child's frustration.

Did you find out why the taxi didn't turn up?

Where were the children while you had two weeks to yourself, with their dad?

Why does it matter where I was whilst he had a contact visit ?
Taxis are hopeless around here, rural area and just not enough of them

Oh I see what you mean, yes with their dad