Housework mainly

[PlinkyLove]

I am a really crap housewife. We have 3 Dc s and the house is really old and difficult to maintain. I work part time and DH works full time but he often has a go at me about the housework. I do normal things like washing, ironing, washing up and putting away, but the house still looks like a shit tip. I do all the cooking and shopping too. He always has a go at me and I feel really low. We are at the point of spitting up. I feel I should do more but I am very demoralised. We row a lot and I am sad. I don't know what to do.

What does he do?

Why are you on the verge of splitting up?

How much childcare and housework does he do? Do you each have the same amount of free time?
What do you row about?

You started that thread with such an insult about yourself.
You are not crap, you are doing it solo by the sound of it!
I don't work and find it hard to keep on top of it all and I don't have kids! Bless your heart.
Your DP doesn't sound very nice tbh. Does he help at all? I give my dh the bins to empty and beds to change (jobs I find very tricky).
How old are your children? Could they take on a small role each? If you make it a game/ competition, it may be more effective!
Write down a list of all the chores that need doing and break them down into small, manageable chunks e.g bathroom sink, toilet, bath as separate jobs.
Then allocate who is going to do what. You will have the lions share but everyone in the house should be contributing something (age permitting).
Then give yourself 3 or 4 of the jobs to do each day. Write them in a diary and tick them off when achieved. This will make you see you are not crap and are getting on top of it. Keep it small and manageable - it may take longer but you will get on top of it all eventually and will be able to chunk things together as the house becomes cleaner.
A healthier and happier marriage will make it easier in time too.
If your family continue to be unsupportive and hold you solely accountable for all the housework, it's time for serious conversation. Show them this thread! You are not their slave! Good luck x

I doubt the house would look a tip if he was doing an equal share, sounds like you bear the brunt of it all, it's his family too no, so bloody annoying that women actually think it's their job to run after a man, it isn't, it shouldn't be and it's time you gave him both barrels, don't let him put you down any longer.

And I wouldn't be surprised if he was a major contributor to the tip state.