Where can I find a new relationship?

[fishfortea]

I am separated after being married for over 20 years, honestly thought that I would be with my 'D'H for life (he had an affair and has decided that the other woman is for him). We've been separated now for at least 18 mths.

How/where do I begin? I'm not really a pub goer, internet dating scares me, I work in an all female work place, and most of my friends all seem to be happily married.

Where did you met your partner/DH?

Following with open eyes! Single 8 years .....

How long have you been separated?

It's good to be single for a while, after a long relationship. Find 'you' again. Then you won't settle for any old crap out of a need to be coupled up; you'll only go for the relationships that are true partnerships. But for that, you need to experience the certainty that you can go it alone, and be your own best ally.

Stay single for at least a year or two, and find out what you enjoy and want from life. It'll be OK, I promise.

If and when I have the chance to look for a new partner, I would probably rejoin my gym so I can start being beautiful again at the same time!

How about a night class? Or a volunteering job?

I'd join a running club. Full of men!

Meet-up groups - check them out for your area on the Internet - lots of different interests etc.

Thanks Rice, its been 18 months, I appreciate what you are saying about finding myself. I guess I just feel so lonely especially as I know he is with the OW. (Was kind of hoping that it may heal a few wounds too!)

I do belong to a fitness studio, something I started in May of last year, trouble is its mainly women that attend.

Guess I could try an evening class.

Joining a running club made me chuckle - can just imagine me trying to chat/breathe and run all at the same time - unfortunately I think I would be very sweaty, out of breathe and lagging behind everyone!

You may need time out for a while but maybe not. I was mentally fully out of my marriage & started dating again before the ink was dry on the divorce paper. My rationale was that I wanted to find a good man before the pool of good men shrunk any further. After kissing 9 frogs online dating, I found him. An absolute diamond. I think OLD is the way to go. Yes there are plenty of dicks there but if you dig deep there are also some gooduns. Most men at my gym are married. Just keep a nice smile on your face, dress well & chat to anyone. That's what I did & I met lots of people. Good luck

Thanks Fuckadella, did you meet your partner on line?

My H of 28 years left in December 2014. He too is with another woman, and I thought, as you did, that we would be together for ever. It has been an interesting year! I have challenged myself, done things I wanted to do and he didn't, like skiing, I have gone on holiday with a group of strangers, I have made new friends and found old friends who I like (but H didn't). I have been to weekly counselling, and have learned to like myself. I used to hate being alone, was scared, sad and lonely, but I got to the stage of liking being on my own, doing what I wanted to do, choosing when and how I wanted to do it. And then I joined a new club to play a sport I loved, and met a really nice man there. It's early days, but whether he hangs around or not, I have proved I can be happy, I can be on my own.
I guess to meet someone you have to do something different, because you haven't met him in your current circle, but my experience is, get happy with you, then it doesn't matter whether you meet anyone or not, but if you do, you'll be in a good place to enjoy it.

That does make sense Theo. I guess its the loneliness of an evening that gets to me - not that I want a full on relationship straight away, just someone to occasionally text or ring for a natter.

You are chatting amongst friends now fishfortea there are plenty of us around for a chat.

Tinder worked for me - Been together 14 months now - never been happier or more content