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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

x husband

7 replies

chickenlicken123 · 21/12/2015 17:40

so my x has decided he wants to take the kids away for new year, only problem is he wants to take the money its costing him out of my child maintenance....he earns significantly more that me. Like what i earn a month he earns in around 2 days. He lies to the kids saying one thing to me and another to them. It's so difficult to try to sort anything out with him, he just wants to punish me constantly. Any advice would be greatly appreciated....

OP posts:
Moanranger · 21/12/2015 18:21

I am not an expert in this -others will emerge who are - but I am sure he cannot legally do this. So don't agree to it. Good luck!

PushingThru · 21/12/2015 18:28

No way! The house, bills, clothes & shoes for them still need to be paid for whether they go on holiday or not!

Original poster
chickenlicken123 · 21/12/2015 18:34

yes i have explained this to him and he just said he's taking me back to court because he's paying me too much. I have told the kids that they won't be going as I cannot afford to pay for them to go. That's a weeks shopping for me. Also he will turn it around somehow with the kids that its me being a nightmare. The kids love him and i honestly want what's best for all of us, even offering him mediation so he can see them more than one night a week which he's refused. The money is court ordered and i can't afford to go to court but all of the evidence i have is that he just doesn't want to see them he just wants to make promises to them so that it looks like it's my fault when it doesnt happen. I'm struggling to sleep as i have so far had enough

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 21/12/2015 18:43

No, he can't legally do it.
He's just trying to be a shit.
Does he have a regular salary so he can't hide anything if you go to CMS for an attachment of earnings? (I'm guessing it's not the first time he's fucked you about over maintenance.
Tell him no.

Cabrinha · 21/12/2015 18:45

You should tell him that they're not going because HE can't afford for them to go.

Original poster
chickenlicken123 · 21/12/2015 19:09

he has his own business so told CSA he earned £30 a day...... I will be telling him no. I just don't understand why he's starting with me after all this time. I will survive whatever happens, i can go full time if I need to, my kids will just have to go to after school club. Its just that we both agreed on a settlement 3 years ago and now he's totally going off on one with me. How do I deal with it without paying court cost?

OP posts:
DiscoDiva70 · 22/12/2015 15:57

You're best to seek legal advice, you can get a free half hour by certain family law solicitors in your area usually.

Another thing to think about, if he's lying to the csa he's probably not declaring everything he earns to HMRC.

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