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Original poster

Online dating help

10 replies

blueberrymojito · 19/12/2015 20:45

I've been chatting to a lovely man online who lives in my local area for a couple of weeks, I think we will probably meet up in the new year. I'm a single mum with one Six year old DC. When do I tell this man I have a child? Should I have told him already?

I'm only young so no one assumes I will have children, and in the past when I've told them before meeting in person they've always stopped talking soon after! I know it's not for everyone so that's fair enough. I want people to get to know me as a person first before they decide whether they still want to see me despite me having a child.

I'm very new to dating after having children and I'm clueless as to what to do!

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 19/12/2015 20:53

I would make it clear as soon as possible that you have a 6yo. Otherwise it could sour the relationship and erode trust if you wait much longer.

The longer you leave it the more it will make it look like you deliberately wanted to deceive.

CherryPicking · 19/12/2015 21:40

I'm not sure but having a similarish problem.

CalleighDoodle · 19/12/2015 22:04

I had that i have children on my profile because of it will put someone off, i dont want that someone anyway!

Oysterbabe · 19/12/2015 22:20

Agree that you should mention the child in your profile. Some people don't want to date people with kids and that's their call.

niceupthedance · 20/12/2015 06:33

I didn't have it in my profile but always mentioned it before a date, you can engineer it into most conversations. I only had one person stop talking to me afterwards and that was because he "didn't want to be a dad to someone else's kid" (er- it's just a drink, mate).

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 20/12/2015 06:42

I have it on my profile. Getting my shit together to meet a man in real life is enough effort without him ruling me out for having a child - what a waste of everyone's time. It's fine for people to have a preference not to date people with children so give them the info up front so they can rule you out if they want to

Mrswinkler · 20/12/2015 06:44

I'm in the same situation but there's an option to say whether you have kids. People need to know so they can make a decision before contacting you. It sucks that some men will pass on you because of that fact but that's the way it is. Kids are a big deal in a new relationship.

I also don't contact people who say they definitely want kids as I don't; happy with my one and can't envisage another. That sucks too as it really reduces the pool of possibles......

Seeyounearertime · 20/12/2015 06:45

If he had kids when would you want to know?

Original poster
blueberrymojito · 20/12/2015 21:14

This for the replies. I'm not sure when I would want to know? I think it would help if I knew them better first.

Anyway I told him today and he was fine with it and thanked me for my honesty. He still wants to meet up Smile

OP posts:
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 20/12/2015 21:34

That's good!
There are plenty of men who don't care and wouldn't see it as a problem but a few men who do.

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