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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What's the fairest advice to give here?

3 replies

EightYearsWasted · 15/12/2015 13:53

One of my oldest friends separated from his wife earlier this year, they have two DCs in their early twenties and her DS from a previous relationship.

They are about to get divorced and she is asking him to pay her £200 per month towards the 2 DCs that both still live at home. The DCs both work, as does she. The HA home they live in is in her name. No other assets to split.

Due to the extremely frosty communication between them, he doesn't want to just give her the money and as the DCs are working adults, he's not obliged to pay maintenance, is he?

Obviously, he loves the kids and doesn't want to not give them anything. My advice is to arrange a direct debit into the DCs accounts and if they want to contribute to the household whilst still living there, they can sort it out with their Mum themselves.

Is that fair advice to give?

OP posts:
KB2651 · 15/12/2015 13:56

I would say that's fair, like you said - the children are over 18 and both earning.

ImperialBlether · 15/12/2015 13:56

If the children both work, why does he have to give them anything? Presumably the HA rent is reasonable and all three adults split it? If he wants to give them money, he could give it to them directly.

However, if he was involved in a situation where none of the children pay rent and they're continually subbed by their parents, this is different. In that case he could continue to sub them by giving them money which is earmarked for rent.

EightYearsWasted · 15/12/2015 14:06

I'm not sure what the arrangement the DCs currently have with paying there way TBH Imperial, but I'll suggest he asks one of them what the situation is first.

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