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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DH is coming to therapy

6 replies

chelle792 · 12/12/2015 12:54

DH is coming to therapy with me this week. I'm nervous, unsure but most of all, tired.

I don't even know my question. Reassurance maybe? I'm not sure what to expect.

Anyone have any experience? I really should fill in my back story but i'm drained from all of this.... newly married, suffered a miscarriage at 11 weeks. It's rocked our world to the core

OP posts:
Hillfarmer · 12/12/2015 12:59

Is your therapist a couples counsellor?

Sorry for your loss OP

pocketsaviour · 12/12/2015 13:16

What has prompted him coming? Did you ask him to, did he suggest it, did your therapist suggest it?

I would say it can be helpful although I haven't experienced it from a partner point of view, but I used to drop into my DS's therapy sessions about one every 4-6 weeks so he could talk to me about his feelings in a safe and supported environment, and we could talk with his therapist about practical steps to help with his current needs.

Original poster
chelle792 · 12/12/2015 22:55

hill yes, she does couples therapy and works a lot with couples who have difficulties conceiving.

pocket he's struggling with the miscarriage and I think it's time to address things. She said it'll help my process

OP posts:
Squishyeyeballs · 13/12/2015 00:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Friendlystories · 13/12/2015 06:58

I think you have to try and see it as a step forward Chelle, it might be the safe space he needs to talk about how he's feeling about the m/c without having to be afraid he's making it worse for you. He'll know that's what he's supposed to be doing there so it might just give him metaphorical 'permission' to let his grief out instead of bottling it up in case it's the wrong time if he tries to talk at home. The aftermath of miscarriage is exhausting so it's no wonder you feel tired but the counselling could ease a little of the weight you're feeling and you'd be surprised how much of a lift it can give you if you feel you've taken that first tiny step to figuring out how you go forward as a couple. I hope it goes well, will be thinking about you Flowers

Original poster
chelle792 · 13/12/2015 07:55

Thankyou both. I've been with my therapist for about two years and everything does seem to be coming to a head.

I've not had the best teaching about relationships and it's scary to feel like I'm fucking it up when we have only just got married. I'm determined to break the cycle. He's a good man and has put up with a lot from me, it feels

OP posts:
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