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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

When your ex starts seeing someone new?

7 replies

blueberrymojito · 06/12/2015 20:24

Why does it hurt so much?

I thought I was over the relationship breaking down but this has knocked me for six...

I'm feeling so many emotions, upset and angry...I was treated like dirt for so long so I don't understand where these feelings have come from.

I feel so hurt that he might treat someone else the way he should have treated me all along. Has anyone got any words of wisdom please? Someone just shake me!

OP posts:
MrsParker · 06/12/2015 20:37

I reckon if he didn't treat you well, then he's unlikely to change and become mr. Wonderful, and even if he does, he won't be able to sustain it! Just focus on why you split, and feel sorry for the next victim!

abbsismyhero · 06/12/2015 20:41

nope it still hurts especially when he shouts at you he won't sign the divorce papers because he still loves you wants you back etc etc then you get forwarded an email where he describes you as average jealous because he gets a load of attention off women and basically he is a love god and your just the minger who had his kids and now apparently wont sign the divorce papers because i cant get over him apparently (but im also a cheating slag)

Scarftown · 07/12/2015 07:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

donajimena · 07/12/2015 08:06

Do you remember how he was when he met you? Did he treat you right in the beginning? When he was on his best behaviour?
That's how he will be treating his new gf for now
This will slide. They don't change!
I'm sorry you are going through this but this is the lowest point in your recovery. The only way is up now. It's a good milestone to get out of the way even though it hurts like hell.

TooSassy · 07/12/2015 08:23

It's part of the process.

I remember feeling as if someone had sucker punched me when an ex told me he was in love with someone else. The pain was like nothing I had experienced. It was my lowest point however and absolutely vital for me to reach before I could let him go and move on.

It's normal and it's upwards from here on in.

blueberrymojito · 07/12/2015 08:33

Thanks for your replies, I'm definitely trying to keep perspective here. I just feel so weak right now. Can't eat or sleep. I was fine before I found out he had someone else.

OP posts:
MagicalHamSandwich · 07/12/2015 08:41

What you're feeling is completely normal. I was a sobbing mess the day my ExH announced to me he was getting married again - we'd been separated for over two years, divorced for more than one and it was me who left him ...

As someone else said: it's all part of the process. You're grieving for what might have been, perhaps feeling a little taken aback that - even though you're no longer an item - you're ultimately replaceable' in his life and, providing you're still single yourself, might also be wondering if you're going to be alone forever.

This, too, shall pass! Been there, done that! Just pamper yourself for a bit, get thee to a shopping centre or a spa or the comfort of your own bed, have a good sob, curse the fucking bastard and wake up in a few weeks' time finding you're actually not that bothered ... Flowers

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