A controversial viewpoint on men in 2015

[bridie69]

As it is just about 30 years since I was last actively in the singles saloon, I've been thinking of how different it is for me this time around. Ok, I've been 8 years widowed and shut myself away romantically until earlier this year. Since my " awakening", I guess I've been thinking a lot about the modern relationship market vs last time round. Perhaps I am also influenced by what I read on here, clearly there are some people who've had some very bad experiences for which I am sorry. But objectively speaking, there do seem to be quite a lot more simale, solvent, educated, well dressed and attractive men say 35-55 than I thought. I am not exactly looking as such, but there do seem to be more of the above than I thought and surprisingly many of them are never married rather than divorced. Maybe it is a misperception based on low expectations, maybe I have just been luckier than normal in whom I've met recently, don't know?

For simale read single

Well last time you were available, surely you wouldn't have been acquainted well with this age group?

I don't see how you can use the phrase "objectively speaking" - it's still your subjective view.

And if you're not actually actively dating, you're not scratching the surface of these men, if you speak to people that are you'll find a few more tales of seemingly OK men that are not.

But of course there are decent men out there too.

I suspect there are increasingly more unmarried men because society increasingly did not push marriage. And women are financially stronger than they've ever been - I think? - though a long way to go. So less women rushing to marry.

Absolutely. There are more single men because more women are choosing to stay single.

I know a lot of 'lovely' men but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with any of them for many reasons.

I wasn't familiar with this demographic when in my 20s no. But they are the same men I met then plus those up to 15 years younger whom I never was acquainted with before. I suppose the point about no pressure to marry outside certain religious groups is part of it yes. Or maybe women's messages about what they do and more importantly don't like in men are in some way in some cases finally getting through?

I know friends who are married to great men but haven't seen a lot of them in the singles pool. I think online dating throws up a bit load of nutters and people with issues that can cloud the issue but for me...if ding a single man in mid thirties to forties with man age able level of baggage, no issues who I fancy and want to date is tough

There are perhaps specific issues with online dating. I wonder if it has peaked and more traditional ways of meeting will reemerge? Of course there is nothing compulsory about dating so those who for example just don't fancy anyone, or at least anyone they meet, don't have to compromise. I thought for many years I wouldn't fancy anyone again but I suppose it was only when I started of myself as something other than washed up that my perceptions of others began to change.

Sounds like you have become a little frisky and are seeing talent everywhere you look! In reality you only have to read the dating threads on here to realise those shiny unwrapped packages that look like "simale, solvent, educated, well dressed and attractive men say 35-55" will turn out to be the same old ordinary middle aged men the rest of us see.#
Good luck though and enjoy your renaissance

many of them are never married rather than divorced

You seem to see this as a positive. Sadly in my experience it really isn't. I have met a fair few apparently 'solvent, educated, well dressed and attractive men' in my case in the 45-55". However it usually becomes apparent that they're single for a reason no matter what they say. Usually they're commitment phobes, emotionally unavailable or emotionally abusive. If they have never married or had a long term relationship in that age range then there is usually some sort of issue.

If you're not really looking yet you probably haven't come across this yet.