relationships

[spudlike1]

Why does psychotherapy make me feel so bad , I'm sick.of it . I'm descending again and I don't know what to say to hubby or how to spk to people in rl .

it stirs up all the crap. Make a brew, stay quiet. In a couple of years you'll feel the benefit.

The trouble is is that you need to open up to the issues you're having, but this needs to come to then identify those issues. It's only after that that you then work on gain g to skills and experience of using those skills that things become easier.

Until then, keeping things buried seems a lot easier!

It's when things feel like they are at their worst that you most need the strength to keep going and get through it

OP I could have written your post.

Been separated 2.5 from arsehole narcissistic stbxh. Been having psychotherapy for 4 months. Recently ended a relationship of 11 months which was impeded by a different flavour of emotional baggage.

Today my narc stbxh who barely sees his kids despite living up the road is moving into a huge house with new trophy girlfriend.

I am sitting at home. Dealing with the most awful, mucky, emotional pain thrown up by psychotherapy. Re-evaluating my whole life, friendships, future, my approach to parenting. Feeling very aware of old models of being/coping/emotionally defending myself. Crap and wrong ways of going about things. And feeling bad about it. And so totally alone.

Also trying to contemplate a job offer, and fighting off a cold. Working like a dog and no time to myself which is probably why I lie awake at night thinking about things

It is hellish.

Meh.

And in the past two weeks have been physically exhausted (tough job, ex has had kids 4 nights past in 2 months and those nights I have been on-call for work).

Have been utterly emotionally unavailable to my kids and a Shit Parent.

It's like purging puss from a sore or cleaning the oven. Shitty at the time, but you feel better for it afterwards.

And what's the alternative? That you keep it in and carry it around with you? You can only keep things buried for so long, they tend to come to the surface one way or another.

do you really feel better afterwards though? is it really necessary to stir up all that bad stuff inside

A good therapist would only explore the issues that were causing you distress.

I don't know ? you put yourself in the hands of the therapist and hope that they know what they're doing. ( expensive too )

I'm having to relive some dark times from my past, experiences that I never ever talk about. I'm hoping it will lift my depression and help.me cope with stress in work etc.

Staying quiet and making tea is comforting advice thank you timely .
I've started this so I best see it through I guess .
Thanks posters for posting .I wish MN had been around before
Good to say things on here

RedMapleLeaf Thu 19-Nov-15 15:07:11
A good therapist would only explore the issues that were causing you distress.

Incorrect.

A good therapist will ground you after your session, but will discuss all relevant avenues. Sometimes, it's things we don't realise causing us our distress. Something from 15 years ago can still be dictating who you are as a person today. So that needs dealing with.

And yes, eventually, it does get easier and better. And it does feel like it was worth it.

Thankyou

I'm going to interject just a word of caution. From what I understand, invasive talk therapy can actually be destructive in the case of endogenous depression and other mental/emotional/behavioral issues based on brain chemistry. Not sure whether this applies in your case, OP, and not trying to undermine the benefits of psychotherapy.