Today, I unfriended him from my FB friends list.
I kept my FB deactivated from last November. During this time I worked towards building my self esteem, boundaries check, what I can accept in relationships and what I can't.
I let him go last year because I couldn't cope with the level of disrespect I was getting from him, to the level of him swearing at me...
He justified his actions by saying I'm confused and don't know what I want...
After reading MN posts I realised how low I've been settling for and how awfully he was treating me... I was exhausted from the EA of name calling, rudeness and complete lack of interest from his side (if sex wasn't on offer)
I was physically drown to him and could easily become intimate if he wouldn't behave that way. But he had chosen that way and tried to teach me a lesson that relationship starts from sex.
My core belief always was saying that relationship starts from two people becoming friends, enjoying each other's company and simply liking each other. And sex happens only when you are comfortable with each other.
For him it was sex... I know he is a man (man child) and they do connect emotionally after being intimate. But he wasn't interested in just spending time with me. Only if sex is on offer.
Or maybe I'm really a confused person if I see the world differently to him.
Today I cried, after cancelling the FB friendship. I couldn't stop.
Not because of what I did but because I had dreams. Had seen him as a person I wanted to see, not who he is in reality.
It is the person who actually told me "I would like to have a relationship with you but I'm not going to marry you as I don't want to leave you broken hearted"
My family would never accept me if I choose to live with someone and don't get married with that person.
Writing here actually calmed me down.
Please be nice to me...