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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Telling the kids you're divorcing (and pregnant).

2 replies

Marcher · 01/11/2015 04:25

Any advice for telling kids mum and dad are separating?
Kids also need to be told they have a sibling arriving next year...
Pre-school age, but very sensitive kids.

OP posts:
LeaveMyWingsBehindMe · 01/11/2015 04:35

I think if they are pre school they are less sensitive to this kind of thing than you think. It's not telling them now that will be difficult, kids are quite stoic and matter of fact about things like that when they are very little, they don't have much concept of the potential negative impacts. It's how you handle it going forward that matters, by making sure that they are protected from any upset or hostility between you and your ex or in any way used as emotional pawns. This sounds easy to do, but you'd be amazed how many people fail at it. That is what they are potentially VERY affected by. And making sure they see enough of their dad and don't feel abandoned or sidelined by him.

TooSassy · 01/11/2015 09:35

Wow OP. You ok? What's going on here? You sound like you're going to have 3 under 5 and be alone. Which is ok, you'll cope.

Is he moving out? Or is this a separation and he's staying in the house? I ask because if it's the latter I wouldn't say anything yet.

The most important factor with such young children is that they don't see you arguing and sniping in front of them. They are incredibly sensitive to conflict between their parents.

Do you want to share a little more detail? Then you may get more targeted support here. Mnet is amazing at handholding through all of this so keep posting. Flowers

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