Question about Gaslighting

[janaus]

I had never heard of it before.

Posted this somewhere else....

Just a Boy, is it something like this ...

About 2 months ago, we went to a dinner dance, sat with 2 other friends, on about a 10 seat table. My friend and I sat together and hubby sat opposite me.
The next people to arrive, the lady sat next to my DH, with her DH on other side.
They got talking and my DH realised that he knew the ladies brother. Very nice and friendly. Her family were one of the original residents in the area, before 'progress', so they were talking about the old days. Very interesting chat. Soon, I noticed they were talking, head to head together, she was leaning forward, he was rubbing her back. A complete stranger! I was mortified, so embarrassed.
The next morning I brought it up. Told him how inappropriate it was. He insisted it didn't happen like that, that he just had his arm on the back of her chair. I was imagining things.
He almost convinced me, but I know what I saw.

And the question is.......?

Is this what Gaslighting is. I saw something. But he is trying to make me believe that's not what I saw, almost convinced me I must have got it wrong

My ex allowed a so called friend to sit straddling him, vagina to penis in front of a group of friends and then tried to tell me I was being silly.

I guess he's doing it in other parts of life too op. What will you do?

I'm confused.

Yes. That is gaslighting

Gaslighting is usually persistently undermining you, rather than just a one off trying to get out of behaving like a dick on a night out (which is what most would do). But it sounds like this may not be the first time?

Things like going out with no warning, but then insisting they told you weeks ago. Saying they like fish but next time you serve it say they hate fish, they told you they hate fish, what were you thinking? Saying they paid a bill but when you get the reminder say no, they told YOU to pay the bill, don't you remember?

You end up feeling like you're losing your marbles.

It would depend on the background. How is your relationship generally?