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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The nerve of him !

27 replies

kateshair · 02/10/2015 21:19

Hi all ahhhh just needed to vent this all out !!
I ve been well and truly used :-(
Started seeing this guy in May. He did all the running, he was the one pushing it all forward. Then bang out the blue at end of Aug no contact ! I should have of course just asked him what the Jeff was going on but as I've been hurt in the past I feared rejection so I just left it.
Any way we got back in contact a few weeks ago as he had some of my stuff.. He seemed lovely all sorry been so busy with work blah, blah.. Any way he came over and we just slipped back into how it was before .. I fully intended to ask him what was going on but stupidly I slept with him !!!!
Now he's back to just polite texts !, no talk of meeting up !, yet he keeps texting me a least once a day.. Am sure he has got someone else on the go ... Just feel bloody used and rather stupid ! :-((

OP posts:
pictish · 02/10/2015 21:23

So cut contact and stop seeing him or responding to his texts. He can only treat you how you let him.
It certainly sounds as though he's keeping you on the simmer for his own convenience but that doesn't really matter...the fact that this 'relationship' makes you feel bad is plenty enough reason to bail out sharpish.

Original poster
kateshair · 02/10/2015 22:12

No intention of seeing him again but what about the texts he is sending ? Daily basis just bland chat.. He has some of my things I would like them back... I'm just going to have to ask next time he texts I guess..

OP posts:
donajimena · 02/10/2015 22:20

Do you really need your 'things' back? The texts are just to check if you are still an option. Time for you to check out 'baggage reclaim' just Google it.

Iflyaway · 02/10/2015 22:34

Unless you really need the "stuff" back (granny's necklace, or some such), just leave it.

He just wants to yank your chain when it suits him. Don't go there!

Daily texts? He is keeping you on the back burner. Sorry.

Block him. See how long it takes him to move on. As you will. You are so much more worth than those fuckwit games he plays....

Original poster
kateshair · 02/10/2015 22:36

Well there is a piece of jewellery that he has got. Guess I can't let that go though. It's just the bloody audacity of him how dare he think he can jump on board one last time !! More fool me for letting him ! Hmm any wise and wonderful put downs anyone's got for next time he texts ? Just want to wipe that smile of his smug face ??

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 02/10/2015 22:39

Don't be daft- there's no putdown that would have that effect, you'd just look silly. Go round when you know he's in, get your stuff and leave.

Original poster
kateshair · 03/10/2015 15:16

Me again!
Well he's just texted !!
All niceties, and how am I ?!
It would be far easier if he just didn't !! What to do now ?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 03/10/2015 15:20

If you want to get shat on again, do what you did before.

Cynara · 03/10/2015 15:23

Just ignore. Why jump to reply for his convenience? Leave it, then at some point in the next few days, say you want your stuff back. Retrieve it and then cut contact.

glenthebattleostrich · 03/10/2015 15:25

So reply with fine thanks. Can we sort a date to get my things back, or could you post.

WickedWax · 03/10/2015 15:25

Come on. Stop acting daft. Course he's texted you again. After what happened last time, why wouldn't he?

What to do now? It's very easy. If you really want that piece of jewellery back, go get it and don't sleep with him.

Then delete his number and ignore, ignore, ignore.

pictish · 03/10/2015 15:26

If you must reply say "Fine thanks" and no more.

spanisharmada · 03/10/2015 15:27

What Glen said

RandomMess · 03/10/2015 15:41

Arrange to go to his, get your stuff, then block him

Original poster
kateshair · 03/10/2015 15:43

Good god of course I won't be doing the same thing again !
I'm bloody fuming !!
Cheeky beggars got no chance .
Yes think will leave it a while then just ask if he can post said stuff back....

OP posts:
WickedWax · 03/10/2015 15:44

Why do you need to leave it a while before you ask him to post your stuff back? Confused

Original poster
kateshair · 03/10/2015 15:51

wickedwax
I don't have to wait to text him back just may look less like I give a shit if I do.. Either way I don't give a shit..

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 03/10/2015 16:27

Either way I don't give a shit..

You resurrecting this thread belies that notion I am afraid.

ImperialBlether · 03/10/2015 16:29

Get a friend onside. Call and ask if he's in. Go round with your friend and get your stuff - say you're on your way out somewhere.

Fratelli · 03/10/2015 16:33

Go get your stuff, don't sleep with him then block his number. Don't think it's that hard Confused

Original poster
kateshair · 03/10/2015 16:53

Okay I am obviously still bothered... But main emotion is anger and feeling like a fool :-(
I do want that piece of jewlerry back so I will get it back but this time will keep my self respect with me Blush

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 03/10/2015 17:03

Get that jewellery back quickly so that you can get this over with. Yes, you were a bit foolish but I guess we've most of us done daft things. Learning from it will ease the anger.

Good luck.

AnyFucker · 03/10/2015 17:15

Yep, get it over with

While you angst over this, getting all wound up again over a totally expected fishing text etc you are not goig to get over it

Examine yourself very, very carefully. Are you delaying picking up your stuff so that you still have some connection with him ?

Epilepsyhelp · 03/10/2015 17:18

I think posting is a much better idea than going to collect, it sounds like you're still vulnerable to him even though you say 'he's got no chance' etc.

springydaffs · 04/10/2015 01:13

Or you could say you'd like your jewellery back. Then once you get it back you could say you feel used, that you feel he's keeping you on the back burner as an easy shag. That he's a total shit. That sort of thing. Xx