(May be triggering) disturbing memory

[rageagainsttheBIL]

Recently I've been thinking about my childhood and one memory which I've never got to the bottom of - waking up in the night to hear my DM shouting at my DF, crying I think and calling him a rapist.

My parents had a. Turbulent relationship with each other and to an extent their children - I got off quite lightly but my siblings didn't really.

My parents are still together despite the many ups and downs and it really disturbs and upsets me to think their relationship may have involved sexual violence... I'd pushed this memory to the back of my mind for decades.

I don't know whether to bring this up with my mum or siblings, would really appreciate some advice.

How upsetting for you. Sometimes are minds believe that something is too hard for us to handle and will help us "forget"

Sadly, long term repressed memories are not the most reliable in terms of true reality

If you feel that you can speak to your mum about it, I would suggest doing as the memory is obviously weighing heavily on you

I'm pretty sure the memory is quite accurate. I was about 12 and old enough to know rape was a bad thing although not really sure I understood what it was. I remember telling some friends at school as I was trying to process it.

My mum sweeps bad things under the carpet and would react very badly to this I suspect if I brought it up. It might help me understand but it would be hurtful for her.