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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My ex came over today ......

11 replies

bouquetdiva · 30/08/2015 22:51

We were together for 3 years and split up 2 months ago. Since then we have seen each other a few times and today he came over to finish a few jobs. It started well enough but then he became irritated with me and left, saying that he is content now not to have to put up with me anymore and that he needs someone with more drive and focus who he can rely on to get the job done. I can go into more detail but really the issues were trivial. I guess he is really saying that he has moved on and that this is final

I'm not sure what I am asking here, it has helped to write it down. I'm feeling upset as I hoped for a different outcome today!

OP posts:
Griphook · 30/08/2015 22:58

He was was just sticking the knife in a bit more, it sounds a bit like a power thing, must have made him feel good making you feel like shit. You're better off without him

Original poster
bouquetdiva · 30/08/2015 23:05

Thanks Griphook! That has made me feel a bit better. I've been feeling like shit since he left. He made me feel so slow and stupid and really it's not true at all

OP posts:
kittybiscuits · 31/08/2015 00:01

It sounds like he was just making a drama so he could flounce off without finishing the jobs. My children do that sometimes.

Nothavingfunrightnow · 31/08/2015 00:12

"My children do that sometimes". Grin

My STBXH also came around one day to do a small job. It was not a good idea after all and I will not ask him for anything again. I hope you are ok.

Original poster
bouquetdiva · 31/08/2015 08:55

Thank you for your replies. I am struggling to accept that he does not want me anymore. He is happy getting on with his life and I am missing him and thinking about him all the time. When we see each other I am anxious and not my best :(

OP posts:
Duckdeamon · 31/08/2015 09:32

Don't see him at all for a long while: much easier that way.

Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?

Certainly don't get him to do any more jobs or invite him round.

something2say · 31/08/2015 09:39

You sound different. He is one way, you are another. What he appears to then do is find your way unacceptable, and therein lies the problem, because you are eminently acceptable exactly the way you are xx

Original poster
bouquetdiva · 31/08/2015 10:21

Good advice. I will try to go no contact. I know it will be best in the long run but my instincts want to hold on! I had forgotten the physical pain a break up brings

OP posts:
Duckdeamon · 31/08/2015 14:33

It's more painful if you see him, honestly. If you have no DC together it's definitely the best thing, especially if he says hurtful things.

absolutelyloveit · 31/08/2015 16:02

I agree with something2say. Just because you are wrong for him doesn't make you wrong over all. You deserve someone who is right for you Flowers

Original poster
bouquetdiva · 31/08/2015 17:06

Thanks everyone! Your words of encouragement have really helped xxx

OP posts:
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