Struggling with OD

[freethecagedhens]

I'm struggling, not just in the sense that it's hard to know what to talk about but also how to continue the conversations.

Once you've done the 'what do you do / whereabouts in XXX do you live / what are you up to tonight' (popular one from their side!) I don't know what to say and the conversation just filters out ...

Help!

Hobbies, family, memories of childhood, education, ambitions, music, art, films, theatre, food, travel, sports, philosophy, current/past news, politics, religion, likes and dislikes - any one or more of these topics should enable you to maintain a half-decent conversation for a few aeons 15 minutes or so.

When it fizzled out, I just took it to mean that we were not suited and moved on.

If "what are you up to today/tonight" doesn't provide an opportunity to extend the conversation, then I'd say that's indicative of not being suited.

I suppose it depends what sort of people you're talking to. It's a popular question because it's a good one! If you suspect it's leading to a booty call, then don't bother engaging anyway!

So if it's a hobby, you can talk about that. If you're not going out because you had a big night the previous day you can talk about that. If you're staying in and watching crap on telly, you can plan to watch it together. I had a virtual first date before the real one by watching a film 'together'.

When they ask you a question, give some details about what you're doing, who with and why and then throw it back at them. What are they doing?

It's popular because it tells them a bit more about you and gives them an opportunity to ask more.

I could always tell within a few messages if someone was on the same wavelength as me and if they weren't, I just let it go.

Does that help at all?

I find it's best to steer clear of topics, or what will you discuss on the date? I'm more likely to comment on one of their photos and take it from there - if we are not able to have a conversation that flows, we wouldn't be able to face-to-face.

When you get chatting to someone you click with, you'll know.