He wears ladies underwear

[DebFruit]

I honestly thought, when he said he had a thing about stockings and tights, he meant for ME to wear. I thought, great... now I know what turns him on... brill..... turns out, I didn't have much of a part to play in the game at all. Anyhow, he got dumped after about three months, but I am left with a massive dent in my bedroom self confidence, can you ladies help me understand why this has made me feel so unsexy?

Sure, dude.

Aw

Don't allow him to knock your bedroom confidence, honey - he wanted to be you and imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

This sorry episode will be a source of amusement forgotten as soon as you get together with a guy who's comfortable in his own skin and doesn't need to wear suspenders and a bra to get it up.

It sounds like it's really thrown you for a loop and I'm sorry you're feeling low. Ultimately his interest/fetish has nothing to do with you and it sounds like you're both better off seeing people who are in to you and what turns you on. Take some time to focus on what makes you feel good in the bedroom before bringing anyone else in.

I can imagine it was a shock. But it has nothing to do with you. Put it behind you and at some stage you will be laughing about this

What austingirl said.

I feel cheated and deceived I guess, I always thought I knew what to do to get a man excited, it was awful when none of those things worked. I couldn't understand why because he hadn't been honest with me. of course he seemed like a great guy.... said all the right things, but I think he must be totally screwed up about women! I know it's not about me, but I am proper scared of feeling so hopeless in such a vulnerable situation again. is it a trust thing maybe?

Look it's just a case of incompatibility that's all
Your tastes were different
It's like you wanted to do s and m and he didn't
You like anal he doesn't
He just wants to do the missionary position and you don't
You like to use toys and doesn't
He likes marmite and you hate it
You will both find someone with the same tastes and get each other, no need to take it personally as it was not personal really.

okay, I guess I'll just shut up.

Aw it's not a question of shutting up
I'm not getting at you just trying to point out that after the initial jolt you've had that it wasn't about you or you prowess in bed it was just incompatibility
That's all