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Original poster

First date faux pas

28 replies

Snowfire · 15/08/2015 10:18

Last night I went on my first date in over five years. It was with a man I met online and have been exchanging messages with for a while, he has no idea I've been out of the dating scene for so long.
He was quite lovely and charming all evening and I'm afraid I was so nervous I might have babbled at him, leaving him thinking I was a total nut!
To make matters worse, as we were saying goodbye, I asked if he would like to see me again, he's said he would text me hasn't as yet.
I feel like a total fool, should I text him and come clean about how nervous I was or should I just put it down to experience?

OP posts:
DrSethHazlittMD · 15/08/2015 10:23

Whoa. Calm down. It's 10am and you're worried because he hasn't texted you yet when you only met him last night!

He may text you later. If he does, great.

He may not text you later. In which case, you know he wasn't right for you and you move on to the next date.

midnightvelvetPart2 · 15/08/2015 10:29

You're overthinking it OP, relax about it a little :) if he texted you now then he risks coming across as desperate.

If he contacts you again then explain you were flustered, if he doesn't then just leave it Brew stop dwelling on the negatives, be kind to yourself x

spudlike1 · 15/08/2015 11:05

It was your first date ..view it as a practice run ..he will txt. you or he won't... end .
He will have recognised that you were nervous and seen through that, but don't over think.
Go on three more dates with other men just to practice, calm the nerves .
Its a very strange game try not to take it all too seriously.
Goodluck

Joysmum · 15/08/2015 11:18

First dates are like interviews for jobs that aren't your dream job, practice and a learning experience to help you nail the right one!

Original poster
Snowfire · 15/08/2015 12:45

You're all right, I have calmed myself down a little and feeling a little more relaxed about it. I did feel like it was an interview and to be honest I don't think I would have given me the job! It didn't help that I had a mega fraught day and was running late so had no time to get ready.
I will put it down to experience, arrange a couple more dates (had several others I had been stalling as I thought I really liked this guy) and if I hear from him, I may arrange to see him again. Otherwise, I had a free dinner (I did offer to go Dutch), a bit of practice and have lost nothing!

OP posts:
HPsauciness · 15/08/2015 12:50

That's a great attitude, I would date more than one person at this stage, and see how it goes.

MadeMan · 15/08/2015 12:50

"...leaving him thinking I was a total nut!"

He might like slightly mad women; nobody wants boring. Smile

DarkNavyBlue · 15/08/2015 15:04

I would take 'I'll text you' rather than a 'yes' as a no. But also agree with everyone else that you should just treat this this date (and any others that go badly Grin) as a practice run. Onwards!

sanityforlunch · 15/08/2015 15:12

'I'll text you' is very non-committal so I would take that as a no. Also it is dating etiquette to text someone straight away telling them you enjoyed meeting them, even if you don't actually want to see them again.

Might be wrong in this case but get back out there anyway.

PoppyShakespeare · 15/08/2015 15:18

If it is dating etiquette to text someone straight away then why shouldn't OP do it now?

ChilliAndMint · 15/08/2015 15:22

I'm sorry but if he was keen he would have let you know by now.
I would leave the ball in his court..it was he who said he would contact you.

Dating is a bloody minefield and you really can't get the measure of someone after one date.

Can I suggest doing what I do ,and that is to meet them for a maximum one hour for the initial date. It takes the pressure off both parties and makes for a more comfortable meeting.

If I had to spend hours in the company of a stranger I think I would be tying myself up in knots.

PoppyShakespeare · 15/08/2015 15:24

I agree that if one party is keen they let the other know, so if you want to meet again you should say so. If he doesn't respond there are literally billions of other people in the world so try to meet some of those?

niceupthedance · 15/08/2015 16:41

Also if you ask someone if they want to meet again and they say "yeah sure" = no

wickedwaterwitch · 15/08/2015 16:44

If a man wants to call you he will call you.

So I think he's just not that into you. Sorry.

JeanSeberg · 15/08/2015 16:47

There's no reason why the op can't send a text saying thanks for a nice evening and see if he replies.

Lweji · 15/08/2015 16:48

Out of curiosity, did you feel interviewed only or did you interview him as well?

I'd have expected something more than "I'll text you" if he wanted to see you and after exchanging messages for a while.
But, fingers crossed. :)

JeanSeberg · 15/08/2015 17:13

Perhaps he felt put on the spot and wanted time to think about his answer. Nothing wrong with that.

DoreenLethal · 15/08/2015 17:18

Sorry, what was the faux pas?

Coconutty · 15/08/2015 17:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PoppyShakespeare · 15/08/2015 17:28

I don't understand the logic of 'if the other person wants to see you they will call/text you first' how does anyone ever make the call/send the text in those circumstances? Nobody would ever get a 2nd or 3rd date!

Lweji · 15/08/2015 17:31

The op asked the question and he said he'd text her. That is why she is waiting for him to contact her.

PoppyShakespeare · 15/08/2015 17:33

oh right

well life is short, I'd text anyway while lining up some more possibles

MyPelvicFloorTrainsItself · 17/08/2015 08:36

Any news OP?

Happytuesdays99 · 17/08/2015 09:34

I wouldn't text him. If he wants to see you again he will do the running. I would actually take his answer as a no though.

onemorerose · 17/08/2015 11:34

Do you want to see him again?