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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Red Flags and Red Trousers

30 replies

Tryingtokeepalidonit · 14/08/2015 20:28

For those who remember my sudden epiphany about my now XDP I just got back from a lovely family holiday to find a letter from him. He has invoiced me for his costs because of my "irrational and manipulative" response to a "simple" comment. He has billed me for the decoration of his house which he was planning to rent; emotional distress and loss of income whilst he recovered; time spent unpacking his possessions and the loss of a tee shirt with huge emotional significance. WTF!

OP posts:

GemmaTeller · 14/08/2015 20:30

take a copy of it, rip the original into pieces and post it back to him

DeladionInch · 14/08/2015 20:36

Invoice him right back for however many years of cooking, cleaning, childcare, sex (although I have no idea how you'd work the last one out!)

www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/11164040/How-much-is-a-housewife-worth.html

Original poster

Tryingtokeepalidonit · 14/08/2015 20:37

I have already responded in a similar way , scanned in a copy and then wrote no at the bottom and put it in the post back. Idiot, cannot believe I was so stupid!

OP posts:

Original poster

Tryingtokeepalidonit · 14/08/2015 20:38

We only lived together for a couple of weeks when he revealed his true personality so it would be a small bill!

OP posts:

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 14/08/2015 20:42

He's the gift that just keeps giving :o

I'd bill him for the wasted time and effort you put in to the relationship. Ask him to wear a badge in future, so that no one else spends time assuming he's a reasonable human being.

I would even make him a badge.

Or red trousers with "wankbadger" embroidered onto the arse.

Sonia0002 · 14/08/2015 20:43

I haven't seen your last post but he sounds very childish! How pathetic!!!!

Walkacrossthesand · 14/08/2015 21:02

'Loss of income while he recovered'? He was going to go on holiday with you wasn't he, before he blew it, so presumably that's at least a week if not 2 when he wasn't going to be at work anyway so could 'recover' (arf) without loss of income!!
Loss of face - now that's altogether harder to put a price on - but he's welcome to bring it before a judge to try!

paulapompom · 14/08/2015 21:13

Oh my goodness! He cannot accept that you saw him for what he was (a jealous cunt imho) and ended it. I don't know if you had any doubts about ending things but this has confirmed your instincts were so right.

Oh God i wish you could name and shame (I know you can't) as if he is completely awful it's likely either Mr or my cousin will date him one day we have appalling taste in men

paulapompom · 14/08/2015 21:16

Will he try to make you go on Judge Rinder? Do you think he just wants to keep up contact?

Finola1step · 14/08/2015 21:17

Ooh, I know... Tell him to sue you for the expenses. Text him the number for Judge Rinder... That would be one episode we would all love to watch, your ex will be ripped to shreds. Only half joking

Smilingforth · 14/08/2015 22:15

Amazing - almost unbelieveable

cozietoesie · 14/08/2015 22:22

...He's the gift that just keeps giving...

cozietoesie · 14/08/2015 22:25

...Invoice him right back for however many years of cooking, cleaning, childcare, sex ( although I have no idea how you'd work the last one out! )...

Very expensively, Deladion. Very expensively.

goddessofsmallthings · 15/08/2015 05:04

Minimum 5 grand a night - and considerably more if expected to stay over in anything less than a fully staffed ocean going yacht.

goddessofsmallthings · 15/08/2015 05:21

It's very naughty of you to have kept his blankie t-shirt, Trying.

He'll have to suck his thumb now he's thrown his dummy out of the pram

Original poster

Tryingtokeepalidonit · 15/08/2015 07:19

I just cannot believe I was stupid enough to fall for him in the first place. I suppose I just saw him on dates when he was on his best behaviour. I don't know where the tee shirt is but I suspect DS does, I know he was waxing his board before we left for Italy...

OP posts:

goddessofsmallthings · 15/08/2015 07:52

Expired while in the service of the golden child? There couldn't be a more fitting end to it, Trying.

Perhaps you should drop Mr Redpants a line on a black-edged notelet to say that his blankie t-shirt was involved in a fatal collision with a surfboard and has been thrown out with the trash buried at sea.

paulapompom · 15/08/2015 08:44

trying don't give yourself a hard time for falling for him. I'm sure he was plausible and charming. Be proud that you didn't put up with his shit. As soon as he started you told him no. As I remember lots of people who read the thread were in awe of you and had a lady crush on you

redexpat · 15/08/2015 08:54

Do you think he is on mn? How many times has it been suggeste

redexpat · 15/08/2015 08:55

posted too soon.

how many times has it been suggested to a poster who feels their efforts are unappreciated.

borisgudanov · 15/08/2015 10:25

That of course is the behaviour of an absolute arse. I think "invoicing him back" just descends to his level.

Probably the best thing to do is ignore. I like sending it back torn into little pieces. Any other response is likely to encourage further harrassment.

If he does harrass you OP call the police.

Awholelottanosy · 15/08/2015 10:30

Wow what a twat! Well it just confirms you definitely did the right thing in ending it.

travellinglighter · 15/08/2015 10:43

Love to see him go to small claims court to get the cash off you.

Tosser, ignore.

Jux · 15/08/2015 15:42

I remember your thread. He's an arse; clearly he hasn't changed in the time you were away

I think ignore (or perhaps frame it as a funny talking point, or hang it in the loo).

Hope you had a great time and the coffee was good.

LuluJakey1 · 15/08/2015 16:13

Tosser. Ignore him. You are sooooo well rid!

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