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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Freedom Programme....

17 replies

TwoNoisyBoys · 14/08/2015 15:48

What is it exactly, please? Is it for people who are in abusive relationships, or people who have been, or people that need to break free, or get over someone? I see it referred to a lot and I was just wondering if anyone can tell me what it's all about? Thanks in advance.....

OP posts:
Seriouslyffs · 14/08/2015 16:29

I've not done the programme, but I've read the book. I think everyone should read it and would benefit from it. It really clearly explains the behaviours that are or develop into abuse. I'd like to see it developed for use in schools.

CharlotteCollins · 14/08/2015 16:34

It's about abusive relationships.

There's a website for more information if you want it.

mindyourown15 · 14/08/2015 19:16

It helps you identify types of abusers and helps you recognise their behaviours so you won't fall for the same nonsense again. It is invaluable for anyone who is, or was, in an abusive relationship. You can even do it online.

Original poster
TwoNoisyBoys · 14/08/2015 20:06

Thank you so much for your replies....it sounds like something that could be really useful to me. Has anybody used it and found it helpful, please?

OP posts:
CharlotteCollins · 14/08/2015 22:07

Yes. You'll find it recommended a lot, because it is very good.

Try to go in person rather than do it online.

Namechanger2015 · 14/08/2015 23:11

I attended this after leaving my abusive husband. It's based on the book Living with the Dominator by Pat Craven. I read the book and found it illuminating, but found the course a million times more helpful to me. Just making me more aware of what my H had been doing and how unequal and abusive our relationship was.

There were women in lots of different circumstances - some had left partners others were still living with their abusive partners.

It's very empowering, if you can attend one then you should. You can always go to the first few and then back out, it's not compulsory to attend them all (although it's very useful if you do).

Best of luck.

DebFruit · 15/08/2015 01:04

The police recommended this programme to me. It gave me the strength to leave, it showed me that I had to choose the well-being of my four kids above anything else. It broke my preconceptions about what sort of women get abused... newsflash people! it can happen to anyone, and no, we don't leave immediately the first time he does it, and neither would you xx

mindyourown15 · 15/08/2015 09:38

Yes I have done it and found it invaluable, and a huge eye opener too.

Original poster
TwoNoisyBoys · 17/08/2015 04:19

Thank you everyone for your replies. I was in an abusive relationship with my ExH and I think it's still affecting me a bit now, even though we split a few years ago. I see this mentioned a lot and was just interested in what people thought.

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Original poster
TwoNoisyBoys · 17/08/2015 19:01

As a PS, if I register online, is there a time limit in which it has to be completed? Things are a bit 'full on' at the moment....I want to do it but I'm worried that I won't be able to give it 100%. I'm torn between thinking, probably knowing, I need to do it, and worrying about doing it! ????

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Fluffybrain · 17/08/2015 19:26

I have done it online and found it very good. No there is no time limit. You pay the £10 fee and then have unlimited access and can go at your own pace. I went back and logged in a year later as a 'refresher'.

Fluffybrain · 17/08/2015 19:29

In what ways do you find it affects you now Twonoisyboys? I think I am affected by a previous emotionally abusive relationship but I find it hard to put into words exactly how.

Original poster
TwoNoisyBoys · 17/08/2015 23:13

I'm the same....difficult to explain. I'm not very good at being 'me' if that makes sense? I can't argue in a relationship, I can't express myself very well, I'm afraid that if I do I'm going to be dumped. I need to be able to recognise 'red flags' and have the courage and confidence to do something about it....that probably doesn't make any sense. I'm having a bit of a bad time at the moment and everything's a bit weird! Thank you all for your responses x

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FeelingDumb · 18/08/2015 09:58

Wow. Your last post OP... This is me. Split with exH four years ago, am with a new DP (23 weeks pregnant) and blissfully happy in this new healthy relationship, yet I feel that my exH's treatment of me has made me ineffectual as a person on the few occasions where me and DP don't see eye to eye. I also cannot argue, I totally clam up, the words just won't come out, I lose my point and this makes me feel stupid and I just don't want to talk about it then and pray for it to blow over quickly. I know this is damaging to our relationship but I honestly can't help it. I was thinking of trying counselling but I think I will look into the freedom programme first.

Sorry you are going through this too Flowers

Fluffybrain · 18/08/2015 15:21

Yes OP that does make sense. I have found it difficult to recognise my gut instincts and trust them. I don't know if someone is being abusive or if I'm imagining it. It's all so manipulative and underhand that I don't know how I will trust someone again. Are all men abusive?! What's the point if it all if I've got to be in my guard all the time. I'm opting out for a while.

Original poster
TwoNoisyBoys · 18/08/2015 20:00

FeelingDumb and Fluffybrain.....it's really crap isnt it? I just want to be me again. But I'm frightened I don't know who 'me' is anymore....????

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Original poster
TwoNoisyBoys · 18/08/2015 20:04

Ps also very sorry you're going through this as well x

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