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Original poster

Social media, messaging and relationships

14 replies

Blu11 · 13/08/2015 23:20

I'm slowly being drawn in to the world of WhatsApp, Facebook etc and I beginning to think it can do more damage than good. I've had acquaintances discuss my separation via messenger without realising I can read it, found you can 'stalk' dates in Facebook and WhatsApp. I think I'd rather not use all this and live in a world of blissful ignorance of what others are doing and just tell people to text or call me. How do other people manage all this?

OP posts:
UnsolvedMystery · 13/08/2015 23:34

If you don't want to use it, don't use it. I enjoy the things I use and find them very useful for keeping in touch and communicating with people. I haven't seen much negative. A lot of it really comes down to how you use it. If you use a bit of common sense and are aware of some of the pitfalls, then I don't see the problem.
I would rather someone FB messaged me than me give them my phone number. It's very easy to block and ignore someone on FB.
Good use of privacy settings is important.

AnyFucker · 13/08/2015 23:37

none of it is compulsory

MysteryMan1 · 13/08/2015 23:40

It's all a load of crap if you ask me. People hiding behind their screens rather than having some balls and living in real life.

I think many are very different to their online persona.

MadeMan · 13/08/2015 23:43

I don't use any of it. I use online forums for things of interest, but not anything like Facebook, Whatsapp, or Twitter.

Smilingforth · 14/08/2015 05:41

I think for some it will be important and for others not. It's just part of the diverse electronic world we live where info on people that was previously private is now readily available.

Offred · 14/08/2015 08:11

I use whatsapp for family - mum, siblings, eldest DC.

I use hangouts only for BF.

I have been off Facebook for years and years and only use Twitter very occasionally for reading and occasional angry posting.

I think if you start getting snoopy etc on whatever you have to quit because it'll drive you insane.

UnsolvedMystery · 14/08/2015 10:20

It's all a load of crap if you ask me. People hiding behind their screens rather than having some balls and living in real life.
I am living a very real life thank you very much! I am no more hiding behind my screen on Facebook than you are on here. What's the difference?
My circle of friends is much wider now than it was before I used FB, and I have been able to reconnect with people I have lost touch with over the years.
As a disabled person, it has been a lifeline.

Nabootique · 14/08/2015 10:57

I've had acquaintances discuss my separation via messenger without realising I can read it

Shock What? How?

pocketsaviour · 14/08/2015 11:22

I've had acquaintances discuss my separation via messenger without realising I can read it

That's not really about Facebook though is it? That's people gossiping and you being within earshot.

I use Whatsapp with my son (because picture messages are free as opposed to being charged through my texts.) I use FB a LOT. As a PP said, when you have a disability it can be a lifeline. It's also incredibly good for effectively crowd-sourcing all sorts of knowledge. (EG "Does anyone know why my radiator is making a knocking sound?" "Has anyone got the new Samsung Galaxy, thinking of getting one?" [To a specific support group] My doctor wants me to start taking X medication instead of Y, does anyone have any experience with this?")

TokenGinger · 14/08/2015 11:27

Just delete the apps. Whatsapp and Facebook are very intrusive. There are things you can do to try to limit it. I've switched off my "last seen" on Whatsapp as it means I don't see the last time somebody else was online. I went through a stage with my ex where he'd be online at random times throughout the night and it caused a lot of anxiety for me wondering who he was speaking to. Turned out he was cheating so in that instance, it was good. However, from that moment on, I decided I don't want to know when somebody has read my message or when they were last speaking to somebody else. It's too much. Of course, they then introduced blue ticks to show your message has been read. But you can now turn those off too. So for me, Whatsapp is the equivalent of texting just with free picture messages and free calling through wifi when I'm out of the country, just with the additional pain of seeing when somebody is online.

RonaldosAbs · 14/08/2015 11:53

You can just use them casually you know. I have Instagram, Facebook and Whatsapp etc, none of them run my life. How are you seeing people talking about you?

chrome100 · 14/08/2015 15:09

Facebook has really enhanced my life. I meet people, I add them on FB, we keep in touch and meet up again. Through them I meet their friends and they become mine too. I do not think I'd have half the friends I do know without it.

cozietoesie · 14/08/2015 15:43

Go live in a country village and try to live in privacy there. Grin You can be meeting someone on the moor at dead of (moonless) night and the whole community will know about it by lunchtime the next day.

Things change and so do the ways people now communicate that's all.

UnsolvedMystery · 15/08/2015 10:32

Whatsapp and Facebook are very intrusive.
Only if you allow them to be! You don't have to have notifications switched on, you don't have to check when your bf was last online.

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