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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to find a relationship

12 replies

AmIthatbloodywet · 08/08/2015 21:55

I really, really want to meet a man. I am happy in my life, but really miss love and affection and don't think I can live the rest of my life without.

So, where is the best place to start.

I've done all the stuff people usually suggest, and I have had no luck.

I must be overlooking something. Or maybe some of us are not meant to find relationships.

It's been 11 years since I've gone out with a man. What am I doing wrong?

I would really appreciate some straight advice

OP posts:
CalleighDoodle · 08/08/2015 22:08

How do you spend your free time? What are your hobbies? How about try something new where men might hang out, like join a climbing or walking group?

Bleakhouse1879 · 08/08/2015 22:32

I'm in the same boat as you. Everyone says try OLD or get a hobby, join a book group etc. I live in the country where those kind of things aren't really possible. So I'll be reading this thread with interest only from a male perspective.

itaintmebabe · 08/08/2015 22:43

I'd try online dating if I was you. Have you tried it recently? Set up a number of dates, if you meet up with ten you're bound to meet at least one you like.

And also to relax and not read to much into the dates you go on, just go with it. Good luck!

AmIthatbloodywet · 08/08/2015 23:10

I work F/T, and my employer is big (for the area)
I sing in a choir
I do lots of volunteering
I am learning a new language
I recently joined a book group

This is all balanced against being a single parent to a DD with ASN.

I try to say yes to every opportunity I get to go to things.

Itaintmebabe - Set up a number of dates Grin I should be so lucky. I have tried it and got zero interest. And I mean zero. So it's not like I'm reading anything into dates, I'm just not attracting anyone.

I am also 50. I was thinking tonight that I have spent about 35 years of my life living in hope that I will meet someone.

I generally have a good life, but it just sometimes hits me that other than DD, no-one wants to touch me, hug me or kiss me.

It's quite hard living with no love

OP posts:
SolidGoldBrass · 08/08/2015 23:34

I'm 50 and longtterm single as well, but I am happy that way. There are lots and lots of benefit to the single life if you have a social life and it sounds as though you do.
I can't offer any advice on how to meet available, attractive men, sorry. But do bear in mind that it honestly isn't the end of the world if you don 't meet one. Far better to be happily single than lumbered with an inadequate or even abusive man.

AmIthatbloodywet · 08/08/2015 23:53

Solid, I agree that there are lots of benefit. And I know that there are some abusive or inadequate men, but there's got to be a happy medium. Not everyone in a relationship is unhappy.

I just would love the human companionship of a relationship. My 50th birthday was spent like any other day. As was my 40th. Other than DD, I don't really matter to anyone else. That's hard.

Plus, I really fancy a snog of someone Grin. It's been 11 years

OP posts:
brokenhearted55a · 08/08/2015 23:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmIthatbloodywet · 09/08/2015 00:06

brokenhearted sorry about that Smile

I do think it's worth knowing, though, that the hackneyed cliches such as "you'll meet someone when you're not looking" and the shite that is "try online dating" as if it is the answer to everything, are all a load of bollocks.

OP posts:
brokenhearted55a · 09/08/2015 00:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

achieve6 · 09/08/2015 00:15

OP "My 50th birthday was spent like any other day. As was my 40th."

friends? If you don't have any close friends, I'd say that will help a lot. I like being single but if I didn't have close friends I'd be unhappy.

AmIthatbloodywet · 09/08/2015 03:34

I have friends. All my friends are couples though. And while they try to include me, I am naturally isolated

OP posts:
Ouchbloodyouch · 09/08/2015 08:56

Its not a crime to want a relationship
I hate being single. I am happy with my lot when I am but would prefer a happy healthy relationship over being happily single iyswim.
If I hadn't tried OLD I wouldn't have met anyone. It took six months before I had a date.

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