Not getting on with partners family

[gabyjane]

Please tell me I'm not alone in this
My partner and sister had a massive row at Christmas. They are civil if they see each other and I thought all was okay. However it's my sister's birthday coming up and DP has told me he doesn't want to go. Couple of reasons which I've told my sister about which has now got me stuck in the middle of a great big argument which don't know how I've got involved in, in the first place...please tell me your not all happy families????

He is entitled to feel the way he does and why should he socialise with someone he doesn't get on with or even like?

If he can cope with being part of a bigger group when you go to your sister's 'do' and you manage the seating arrangements, he might just accept that as a compromise, otherwise, I'd just respect his feelings and go on your own.

Note to self: if you moan about partners to family, they'll take your side and behave negatively to those outside the 'clan'.

Difficult situation but why on earth did you tell your sister what he'd said? That was kind to make things worse.

Kind! Sorry - 'bound'.

The plans were up in the air, we were away and she was texting & emailing me.. if I'm honest I wasn't taking much notice and replied but like I said obviously didn't really think about what I'd put as knew it would change again once I was back. It did and I again said not to book him but put a different reason..no not on purpose to cause a row but on the other hand why should I lie? She would have asked where he was when I showed up on my own?
No love lost between them and I'm annoyed I've been honest but I'm fed up of the fake 'hi's' when she's round..guess I should have just said nothing but think it's all quite sad

Respect his wishes but do not let yourself get stuck in the middle either.

Can they meet and have it out? That's what I did with my OH's sis and we get on fine now. I explained my side she explained hers we agreed we understood where the other was coming from even if we didn't agree and that was that.

Ok, you didn't want to lie. Now, you have to suck it up with the consequences. Don't act as if you weren't part of the problem when you did shit-stir with your "truthfulness".

He doesn't want to go to her big birthday do. That's fine. You already knew his feelings about her. Let him be and go celebrate you sister's birthday by yourself.