loosing my job because by ex-husband decided to play up

[tikkaboti]

Hi everyone,

So this is how my story goes........ i am a full-time student, currently looking for part-time work and a mom of 2 girls. I've posted a couple of blogs here before about my problems and the response i have gotten fro all the moms around here have been very helpful advise. I was desperately searching for a job since January as my ex-husband suddenly decided to stop paying me child maintenance as he does not have a job but claims to be running a business. 7 months later I was finally offered a stable job on weekends for 10 hours, my ex decided to act up and refused to take the children away on weekends saying that my job has nothing to do with him. There are other dynamics involved into this situation which I am not going to go into the details of it yet as I have been explaining my situation to so many ppl around that I am literally running out of words and the mental energy to explain my situation. All I can say is that its in the court order that he is to have the children on every weekends and half of any holidays. Because he took care of the children on most holiday periods and I was dealing with my assignments and exams so that was a big help I got at that time. I offered him the opportunity to leave the children with me during holiday season and just take them away on weekends as I have accepted work on weekends due to my situation. To which he refused flat out that he is not willing to help and would only take them away after they stay half of the summer holidays with me.

I understand as I couldn't rely on ex to have the children while I worked and it made things really difficult, well impossible tbh. I have the lack of maintenance issue as well.

I know he is being awkward but I think you have to arrange your own childcare for you to work. Also you have to rely on your own finances because men like this will always find a way out of supporting their child as a way of controlling you and making your life as difficult as possible.

As you have a court order in place, is it worth getting advice about him not sticking to it?

I think all you can do is look for alternative child care for the hours you work. Or - possibly do a shared arrangement with another parent in the same situation. It depends on the age of your DDs.

Your ex is clearly enjoying making your life difficult, so don't give him the opportunity. If he is in breach of a court order, is there a realistic way of dealing with that? Will it be expensive and stressful? If so - I would start looking to make an alternative arrangement that doesn't involve him.

I feeling totally burned out of what he is doing to me right now and cant seem to function properly. He is like a parasite that I cant seem to get rid off, who still continues to keep me on edge, anxious, angry and frustrated. His unpredictable behaviour is making me paranoid now and I am desperately looking for ways to earn money or start up a business or something to solve my problems. The problem is I cant seem to think of ways or connect my ideas into making money as I am confused.

Are you in the UK?
If so, could you contact Womens Aid for support?