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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to break a date with family members?

8 replies

beckyb123 · 03/07/2015 14:45

I am known to be a 'good listener' and several family members have confided in me recently some things I am uncomfortable with, nothing illegal or dangerous. I don' t want to meet up with them tomorrow but they are expecting me to attend a fundraising event at their home tomorrow. I agreed to go a couple of weeks ago when I was feeling fine but have changed my mind (er.. can't be ar**d anymore). What's the easiest way to drop out?

OP posts:
patienceisvirtuous · 03/07/2015 14:47

You should honour your commitment.

Or selfishly drop out with "I can't make it anymore because I can't be arsed."

Smartiepants79 · 03/07/2015 14:48

I suppose it depends on how close the family is. What kind of event it is. And if you wish to be honest or not!
Illness or similar would work but be lying.
Is it the kind of event you'll be really missed at?
Can you not just go for and hour then head off again?
Do you mind potentially upsetting them?

patienceisvirtuous · 03/07/2015 14:48

Or... 'Since you told me you're having an affair (or whatever uncomfortable truth they told you) I don't want to come to your event anymore.'

pocketsaviour · 03/07/2015 14:58

Sudden attack of stomach flu should work.

MatildaTheCat · 03/07/2015 15:22

Migraine. you lot have given me a headache

Janette123 · 04/07/2015 08:02

Beckyb123,
You must honour the commitment you made.
However, if any of them start telling you their business again shut them down fast. Tell them that you're sorry but you really don't want to listen to their problems as the stuff they are revealing you isn't appropriate, and it's put you in a difficult position.
Or you could suggest they talk to a trained counsellor Grin

beckyb123 · 04/07/2015 18:50

felt guilty, went to event, won cuddly toy-stuffed gorilla in the raffle. Told 2 people that they need to seek professional help. The scones were yummy. Families eh?

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 04/07/2015 18:52

Glad it went ok. Pic of gorilla please!

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