Keeping our relationship strong around teen DC - how?! Help!!

[daisychicken]

I'm after some ideas. We have 2 DC, one is 13 and one is 11. Dc1 stays up till 9pm during the week and wants to stay up till 10-11pm at weekends like his friends do. He has just started to sleep in "late" but this is 7am ish for him. Dc2 is up till around 9pm each night and he's up about 6-7am each morning.

DH and I are finding that we have very little time "alone" - we can manage time to watch TV/films alone but there's no time unless we stay up v late to have time for us to talk or have time for sex without risk of interruption. Both DC have ears like bats!!!! During the week DH is often working late/away, his hours are unpredictable so we can't plan 'dates' during the week.

We don't have anyone that we can ask to babysit on a regular basis. Dc1 would be ok alone for a couple of hours but we don't wish to leave them both together - they are good friends but they do fight. I don't feel dc2 is really old enough to be left for more than an hour.

We are both finding it hard not to have 'our' time and I am concerned it will affect our relationship. How do find time alone for your relationship without having children interrupting you?!

Anyone? Please?

Lock on door and you have quiet sex, not that difficult to keep things down surely? Are weekends away an option?

I think 11 and 13 are plenty old enough to be left alone while you go for a quick meal for a couple of hours. Any messing around and there are to be dire consequences.

We keep the noise down anyway but I think DH is fed up of "skulking around" I don't think he wants mad sex round the house! Just more "us" time!

Weekends away are an occasional option. We only have ILs for babysitting but they are often away or commandeered already by Sil and Bil who like to go out every weekend and we then feel guilty for asking them to have our (older) two.

You are probably right and there are some restaurants within 10 minutes drive. Perhaps we just have have to try it and make sure they know there are consequences for messing around/fighting?

It doesn't go on forever, when they become more independent and are out of the house more it becomes easier. It's just another phase you have to adapt to. Definitely try the meal out, threaten removal of Xbox/phone if either of them mucks around.

Can your DH start work later occasionally? You can have breakfast in bed dates after they are at school

Thanks Dame I will remind DH that it is just another phase! I can see that another year or so when ds2 reaches 12/13 then it'll become easier again, we do just have to find different ways for now.

That sounds good Faux! He does get days in lieu when he works OT and I was thinking perhaps we should have a day here and there for us... we don't have to be home for spot on 3 now so it is more flexible that way too