Today I had a revelation about narc SiL...

[KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes]

For those who don't know, we were friends although she's always been snippy. Overnight she turned on me. I've just realised why.

She began to get really nasty when DP and I began the process of buying a house together and got progressively nastier once we had purchased it and moved in.

She thought I was temporary. That's what went on. She assumed DP (who she very much thinks of as 'hers') was only with me on a temporary basis. As soon as I became 'permanent' she turned.

Could kick myself for not realising this sooner...

Aaarrghhh!

Anyway, as you were!

Epiphanies are not unusual when you have narc relatives I find. Their thinking is so far removed from a regular person's thinking that it takes you a long time to figure out exactly what is going on in their heads.

How do you handle this sudden nastiness, out of interest?

Oh, I've not spoken to her.

She visited a few months after we moved. Acted like a brat. Had a go at me about everything I did. Critised everything. Bullied DS. Broke our bed. Broke our car. Pretty much turned me into a snivelling wreck.

A week after her visit I called her to try and smooth things over. She spoke to me like shit. Decided then I was done with her.

She tried several narc tricks but MN prepared me.

Been NC (mostly) for well over a year.

I suspect my NPD MiL "turned" on me (actually it was us ) when she realised the same thing. Looking back it's interesting, as that was the point when she really started piling on the pressure for us to get married. Not because she wanted to see us together forever (quite the reverse). But it was a fantastic way to parade around as a doting DM/MiL, whilst getting her claws in deeper.

My MIL always thought I was temporary. Then we announced we were getting married and she broke down, she is never nasty, just manipulative and guilt trips dh.

Well done for cutting her out of your life OP. You don't need anyone like that around you.