Need tips for breaking the ice to make a new Mummy friend.

[NewMummyTo1]

I really enjoy talking to a Mum at playgroup. We seem similar from the bits we get to chat about with our two toddlers & two babies around! I'd really like to make the move to meeting up with her on the odd afternoon like a play date to try & establish a friendship.

We've got 5 weeks til end of playgroup term and then her son will start preschool 5 days so she won't be back at playgroup again.

I just don't know what to say to break the ice and suggest a meet up!?!?? It feels strange going from brief 5 min chats to 'hey let's make a friendship' I really don't want to not sound forced or needy. I guess it's a confidence thing.

I need some tips on exactly what other Mums say when they want to make friends with someone?

You could suggest meeting with the kids at the park sometime? If she seems keen offer to swap numbers.

Could you say... Have you been to X soft play/farm/park it's really good! Let her reply and then say do you fancy taking the little ones there one day next week/weekend?

It's as simple as that. Trust me all us mums want as many mummy friends and play dates as possible!! She will really pleased and is probably wanting to do the same as you!!

Bite the bullet and go for it

Don't worry, it won't sound needy. She's probably thinking the same thing.

Do the children get on? Could you just say "X will really miss Y" when he/she goes to pre-school. It would be nice if we could meet up".

If they don't really play together, just say " do you fancy swapping numbers so we can meet up sometime when Y goes to pre-school?".

It really isn't strange so don't worry about that.

I'm going to 'X' group next week and wondered if you wanted to join me?

I also found asking for, and following up on, email addresses easier than phone numbers. 'This group is coming to an end next week, wondered if you fancied swapping email addresses and keeping in touch?'

I tend to say 'let me have your number. Our two are really sweet together. You must come to mine to play one afternoon' or something like that. So far it's (almost) always been reciprocal! I find other mums are often hugely pleased to be asked. A lot of people are reserved and don't make the first move!

Thanks for the tips here ladies! Very much appreciated!

At playgroup today I just mentioned swapping numbers and maybe meeting over the Summer when playgroup stops. She was really interested in that.

As simple as that may sound (and it does to me now) I was so worried about sounding silly or needy, I just didn't think of it myself but that was the perfect lead really. It was in one of your comments above.

Also off the back of your comments giving me a confidence boost, I have swapped numbers with 4 new mums 4 days in a row now when taking my son out and about. Unheard of!

I guess meeting Mum friends is like dating and you never know if it will go anywhere but it's just making the first move. I feel so positive about my Mummy social life!

Thanks again ladies ........

It is SO like dating! But weirder!

One woman in a class I went to was just really brave - it didn't run in the half term, but at the end of the class before she just said 'well shall we go for coffee next week anyway?'

And we did, and a year later I count them amongst my closest friends

Well done OP, sounds like you've been that brave woman!