How do I word this?

[VelmaD]

ExH picks ds1 and ds2 up on a Sunday, and drops them back - well his girlfriend drives them all as ExH doesn't drive.

My issue is at the moment it's like a pigging family outing - instead of just ExH getting out and picking up/dropping off they have to park up, all get out, bring their daughter in and all come in my house.

Hints of me standing out front haven't worked, or have the hints I've dropped.

So how can I stop it? I'm getting cheesed off with the family parade, and tbh I don't want their dads girlfriends feedback or jokes and would rather just do hand overs with him.

It's six years btw, I'm happily with someone else - but if dp and his son are here too I have a bloody circus in my tiny house for no reason!!

How can I text/put a barrier up?

It's a recent thing btw, as before they moved they had overnights and I'd drop boys off. I would go in, but usually as they weren't ready and DP/Dss would always stay in the car and wait.

Go and meet them at the car? Take all stuff to be handed over, be brief?

There's only one thing for it, you'll have to be more assertive.

Why not drop your ex an email or make a quick phone call next time he's due to pick the DC's up? Tell him that you feel it gets bit crowded when they all come inside the house and you would prefer it if he stayed outside. It might also me advisable to tell the DC's just in case they invite him in.

If they try to push their way inside the house, tell them to stay outside.

Oops, meant to say...prefer it if they stayed outside

I do try and meet them at the car, but unless I window twitch for half an hour (they're not often on time) it's a pita. A couple of times I've been outside waiting as it's been nice and I've been doing stuff like cleaning out car/doing garden. That hint didn't work though, I had hoped it had.

I think I might word a text. Or mention it on phone this week when he rings to speak to kids. I think I'm too worried about what they will say behind my back - which tbh is silly as I couldn't care less!

If I pick or drop Dss off with dp I always stay in the car and vice versa. I guess I just thought she would too.

Well I braved it quick in a phone call tonight, Made it as blasé as I could, but still a lead balloon was right there....

Oh dear. What did you say?

It was a general phone call about an invite ds2 has for a couple of weeks time, and before he spoke to kids. I just said something along the lines of "oh and do you mind if when you do drop off and pick up you come in on your own, and girlfriend and daughter stay in car? It's all a bit manic for boys when trying to sort things and house is so small and silly to drag daughter out of car isn't it" and then offered to come out house to meet him if he wanted, before saying "here's the boys, say hello" so he couldn't argue.

He's either going to go with it sunday or make a big parade of purposely getting her to come with him knowing I don't like a scene in front of kids. (I was in other room on phone)