I started a thread a couple of weeks ago, but can't work out how to paste the link on my ipad. Short version is that we have been together for 20 yrs; DC are 12 and 14; one has AS (the latter, or DH's inability to cope with it, has been a major factor in the awful erosion of our once loving relationship - but not the only one).
DH knew we had problems but thought we might be able to work through them. I have detached myself to such an extent that I no longer have the will. We haven't shared a room or had sex for years; he has tried to be affectionate, but I can't bear him touching me because of the things he has said about one of the children.
That said, I do still care for him, and wish him no ill. Ideally, he would move straight out, but although we have a considerable collection of assets, we have no cash to rent anything in addition to paying the mortgage. So it looks as if we are both staying put for now.
The DC don't know yet, and we need to be v careful about how to tell the one with AS, so that part will need careful timing. What do I do now?