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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

How to f up a new relationship

21 replies

Hopelesslycoping · 01/06/2015 18:15

Shit. Someone please talk some sense into me.

New relationship, barely six months in and I think I might be pregnant. After spending the best part of the last 10 years as a single mum I'm not sure I can go there again. I haven't tested yet as I'm so scared to find out it's real but I'm late and things feel different.

OP posts:
RinkRashDerbyKisses · 01/06/2015 18:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Handywoman · 01/06/2015 18:19

Any idea how your bf would react? Is there a friend you can call?

Steady your nerve and pee on a stick.

ivykaty44 · 01/06/2015 18:19

Do s test it may be negative, as a single mum I feel your pain

CheersMedea · 01/06/2015 18:19

How is your priority "fu.cking up a new relationship"?!? That's the least of your worries.

First things first, take a test. now. Don't worry about anything else until you know the answer.

Second question, how you think this happened? were you using contraception? what do you think failed? this is important to ensure it doesn't happen again.

oabiti · 01/06/2015 18:20

Yes, do a test. You need to find out sooner or later. Know that nerve-wracking feeling, though.

oabiti · 01/06/2015 18:22

Cheersmedea, you sound slightly condescending Hmm

flora717 · 01/06/2015 18:24

start with a test. Get the information and then see where you are.
One step at a time.

LineRunner · 01/06/2015 18:25

Do the test asap. You have options now. Please use the option you want most and you'll be fine.

CheersMedea · 01/06/2015 18:28

Oabiti - so what? It's what I think & the message wasn't addressed to you so whether you think it's condescending is neither here nor there.

It's a hazard of message boards is that you may not like what you read.

You sound slightly patronizing yourself with your little Hmm face and everyone knows how helpful it is to derail threads by attacking other posters.

Original poster
Hopelesslycoping · 01/06/2015 18:29

Bf has said he doesn't want any more dcs. Even if he did, we're so early stages. Too much pressure so soon.

I don't know if I can talk to anyone. What if I am and I decide I can't cope. Don't think I'd want anyone to know what I did. Though I'm not sure I could go through that either.

OP posts:
operaha · 01/06/2015 18:58

feel for you, I thought I was pregnant 6 months in and was in pieces. I wasn't but I just wanted you to know I know what you're going through.

God that sounds shit, agree with others, do a test tonight x

Original poster
Hopelesslycoping · 01/06/2015 20:17

Test done and it's negative.

Hasn't helped much though as I don't feel right. Definitely not the normal about to get my period symptoms.

I'll do another one in the morning.

OP posts:
Handywoman · 01/06/2015 21:38

Good news!!! How late is your period? My cycles are a lot more 'symptomatic' (sore boobs etc) when the cycle is longer.

You need to chat to the bf and review your contraception.

SelfLoathing · 01/06/2015 22:54

Good news OP. Most stuff people worry about never happens so they say. Maybe you were wishful thinking?

Agree with Cheers above ^ that make sure you check out your contraception methods and be sure they work for both you and him.

oabiti · 02/06/2015 06:39

Good news, opFlowers

oabiti · 02/06/2015 06:40

Hardly an attack, cheersmedea, calm down...

Rebecca2014 · 02/06/2015 08:13

When I was pregnant, I took a test and it was negative but I just didn't feel right...took another one a few days later and it was positive.

Hopefully the next one you take is negative. I am a single mum and would never willingly put myself in that situation again, your with a man who told you he does not want anymore children and you have only been together 6 months. Very likely your end up brining this second child up alone.

lifeissweet · 02/06/2015 08:31

Just to balance out Rebecca's experience, this exact same situation happened to me about a year ago. Blind panic ensued.

I tested and it was negative, but still felt terrible. I ended up in out of hours because I felt so...pregnant...and couldn't think it was anything else. I was worried about an ectopic.

It turned out that I had a virus and it has messed with my cycle. I came on in the end - a week late. I am NEVER late.

So I would not panic now you have a negative result and try and relax. It will probably just happen and the worrying is probably making you feel especially symptomatic.

Good luck!

flora717 · 02/06/2015 20:20

Was it negative again? I hope you're OK OP.

Original poster
Hopelesslycoping · 03/06/2015 07:06

Definitely negative. Got my period last night.

Someone said wishful thinking. Maybe it was. Not right now, this early on, but after all these years of doing it alone. I feel like I've missed out. And my dd has definitely missed out. Seeing people post scan pics and new baby pics with their loving, supportive dh/bf. Seeing friend's dcs with brilliant dads. And knowing I'm getting older and pretty soon it'll be too late.

Feeling a bit sad. Not because it's negative but the way life has been for me so far. And I guess a bit because I've met a really nice guy for the first time ever and he doesn't want kids.

OP posts:
Cancookdontcook · 03/06/2015 07:13

Work out your feelings about this guy then as you sound disappointed. He has told you he doesn't want children so you have to accept that. He would not be the loyal supportive partner you are looking for. And don't bank on him
changing his mind.

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