can you make an sexually unadventurous person adventurous?

[whydobirdsfallout]

DH is very lovely and I appreciate all his good qualities. He has always been a bit shy when it comes to sex though. He is great in missionary position and likes it when I go on top but is quick to loose his erection if we attempt anything else to the extent that I tend not to try anything new. Sometlmes I wish he would ravish me on the sofa or such like but we always do the sameish things in bed. Is there any chance I could make him more adventurous or be happy with what we have?

Have you ever discussed it with him or talked about what you would like to do?

The fact that he loses his erection if you go "off piste" doesn't really sound promising, I've got to be honest.

I have asked him if he wants to do different things but he says he likes things just the way they are.

Probably not - I am very unadventurous and absolutely hate it if my DH suggests something 'different' - and I always refuse.

I highly doubt that most people start out very sexually adventurous, so I think it is "learnt". But it's about having the trust and the confidence to go to those places, which is easier for some than others. I think for a guy with ED, it might be tougher, but not impossible.

You could try to get him to have wine to relax him slightly then just dominate him?

Could he just be shy, lacking in confidence and, you aside, not that experienced? If he is loosing his erection if you attempt to try something new then that would suggest that he's a bit nervous or lacking in confidence.

I think talking to him would be good perhaps after a bottle of wine as long as you tell him that your current sex life is good, so as not to further knock his confidence, but it would be great to add a bit of variety.

How about telling him that you had a dream that he ravished you on the sofa and it's given you a few ideas and see what he says.

People can become more adventurous but others are happy keeping things the same, it depends on the individual.

When you've asked him if he wants to try different things, has that more or less been your actual question? If so he might think you want to tie him to the bed or something rather than just shag on the sofa.

Good points from doortotheriver.

I notice you phrased it to him as would he like to try something different.

You're going to need to tell him that you would like to try something different and how about it?

And yes be specific e.g. "I would like it from behind" or "please tear all my clothes off passionately" because "something different" could really mean anything!

Losing his chubby is definitely down to nerves or being uncomfortable with trying something different. I think you're going to need a few bottles of wine and a few evenings gentle probing to find out what his boundaries are and equally importantly, how/why he formed them. From there you can look at expanding his horizons a bit without smashing through his comfort zone.

But don't rush it, or you won't get anywhere.

Quitelikely, do you want to flip that statement around and consider how awful a thing to say it would be if you were telling a man to get a woman drunk to dominate her?

Using booze to overcome someone's boundaries is never ever a good idea.

OP, you need to talk to him about this. If you're not sexually compatible it's one thing, but you can't force someone to change if they're not into the same things you are.

I took a tub of Häagen Daz up to bed once.

He ate it.

If he can initially get hard, you may wish to get him to try a cock ring which effectively stops the blood escaping. Of course this may be too adventurous and he'll lose it trying to put it on ;)

Worth a try ...