How do I stop having feelings for him

[jl1983]

Hiya as u all know I have been involved with quite an unsavoury bloke on and off. Who has been kicked out by his then gf and now with his ex gf from 3 yrs ago. I'm finding it hard forgetting him knowing he is scum aka alcoholic,liar etc. Its just the fact he has treated me like shit yet can't shift my feelings especially hearing how one he's with now is throwing money at him and is now on bout moving him into a luxury flat and setting him up in business. I know he's crap and no good to me but feel can't stop thinking bout it feeling meh!

I had a similar thing a few years ago. I thought “hmm, maybe I’m aiming too high and looking for Mr Perfect. I should settle for Mr Good Enough.” And he didn’t want me. I was livid! How dare he not want me! I am just what he needs! I can take care of him with one hand tied behind my back. He should be grateful I give him the time of day! And I pined for him. Nothing like not being able to have what you want, is there? Even worse if someone else has it.

One positive thing to do is do something nice for yourself on the anniversary of something big. Your birthday? Buy yourself something you’d like from you to you. His birthday? Get a manicure, go out for the day, see a film. It’ll hurt that he’s not with you at first, but do it DESPITE him not being there. Whenever it’s shit, be nice to yourself. You start to stop missing him and what you dream you could have. You never know, you might start a great relationship with yourself.

As a friend of mine once said: I went for dinner with myself, I took myself off to the theatre and I liked myself so much, I slept with myself.

Get yourself into bed – you know you won’t dump you next morning!

Cut all contact.
Block on Facebook/Twitter/etc
Remove his number and email from your phone contacts
Socialise in places where he's not likely to be
If mutual friends start to talk about him, say "I'd rather not hear what Chavtastic Man is up to, thanks". If they keep talking about him, get your coat and go home, and make some new friends.

Stick to this rigidly for a month and you'll be over the worst.

You might be in pain now but one day you'll be glad you got away from him. Consider yourself lucky, he's a shit!

You deserve better than this, you really do!

Why do I feel so meh seeing him with his ex. I know he is an ass a terrible person but feel shit seeing her parade him.

You're not alone Op. I feel exactly the same. Exactly. It's been 8 months and still dying. Am thinking it's gonna be a long old haul to get fully over it - probably 2 years + :( Be kind to yourself, your heart needs to catch up with your head x

He's a horrid person and is having women fight over him pay for him etc yet he's the lowest of low