Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Asking him to leave

9 replies

Zhabi · 26/02/2015 13:34

What happens if you know your marriage is over and ask your dh to leave but he says no as it's his home too?
We have four children and have been married for 16 years
I have had enough of how he treats me and the children and know I would be happier away from him

OP posts:
Nolim · 26/02/2015 13:37

Get a solicitor. You do need legal help.

Vivacia · 26/02/2015 13:37

Legal advice. Divorce proceedings.

I guess you joint own the house?

FenellaFellorick · 26/02/2015 13:41

It depends really - if the house is jointly owned, or if you are both on a tenancy agreement, or if only one of you is, etc etc.

You could go to court and get an order allowing you to stay in the family home until the children leave home, or you could leave the home with the children and go to court to formalise custody.

See a solicitor and go through your legal options.

InAndOfMyself · 26/02/2015 13:41

As PP has said you need to seek legal advice. You cannot force him to leave but you should start proceedings as soon as possible.

Make sure you have copies of all joint assets (statements, account number etc.) before you have him served with any legal papers.

You will likely be able to stay in the marital home, if you can afford it, until your youngest is out of school as the children have a right to a home.

Good luck.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 26/02/2015 13:43

If how he treats you involves any kind of aggression or if you think you're in danger then you'd take a different course of action than if things have just broken down and are unpleasant.

Assuming it's the latter, your best bet really is to get legal advice. Start the divorce process formally, get the mediation process going and you'll end up parting ways at the end of it one way or another

CogitoErgoSometimes · 26/02/2015 13:45

Children have the right to a home but they do not necessarily have the right to their original home if it means the NRP cannot set up an adequate second home. Be prepared for all outcomes including selling up and splitting the proceeds.

Original poster
Zhabi · 27/02/2015 09:32

Yes we jointly own the home
As a sahm I don't know if I could buy another house if we split the proceeds from our current house 50/50
I wouldn't be able to pay the mortgage myself here as I don't work but is it fair to ask him to leave and still expect him to pay the mortgage?

OP posts:
however · 27/02/2015 09:37

I suppose fairness doesn't come into it. The home is half his. You can no more force him to leave than he can force you.

cestlavielife · 27/02/2015 11:16

how old are the children?
could you work? do you have a profession?

how much equity is in the house?
is he very high earner could pay lots of child maintenance or average or low?

if he left, where would you expect him to go? could he afford his rent plus the mortgage?
too many things to consider. go see a lawyer but have all the financial details to hand before you go.

if you left where could you go?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page