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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

some advice please

14 replies

confusedagain0o · 01/02/2015 17:24

Hi there, I have NC
Today I discovered my H has looked at pictures of female genital mutilation and I really don't know what to think. Why would he? Why would anyone? Im in shock tbh and struggling to think straight. Can anyone think of a reason that isn't horrible? Sorry for the short post, im just so confused.

OP posts:

Original poster

confusedagain0o · 01/02/2015 17:43

Just to add, I wasn't snooping, it's his birthday at the end of February and he has quite a specialist hobby and is always looking for eqipment online. I was looking at his google history to surprise him with something he actually wants instead of the usual gift voucher.

OP posts:

Joysmum · 01/02/2015 17:56

I've googled it too as there was a thread last year about it.

It's shocking

Fairenuff · 01/02/2015 17:58

It's been in the news again recently. Why don't you ask him about it.

RandomNPC · 01/02/2015 17:58

I wouldn't leap to conclusions! It didn't have to be for any prurient reason. Perhaps he was interested in what it entailed? There is a lot of discussion about it in the media at the moment.

Quiero · 01/02/2015 17:59

Maybe he didn't understand what it was so googled it for more information?

I've googled FGM so I could educate myself about it. Why would you think he was up to no good? Does he have form?

Original poster

confusedagain0o · 01/02/2015 18:00

I will see if I can find the thread thank you. I just dont understand the need to look at pictures and there were several of them. Surely reading about is enough.

OP posts:

Quitelikely · 01/02/2015 18:00

Ask him?

recall · 01/02/2015 18:01

I have looked at pictures of it on line - I wanted to see what it looked like.

pieceofpurplesky · 01/02/2015 18:07

I too have looked at this. It has been in the news over the last few weeks and probably like most people he was curious

Original poster

confusedagain0o · 01/02/2015 18:17

Thank you, I didn't realise it had been in the news recently. No, previous form for anything like that. The images shocked me to my core and I couldn't imagine deliberately seeking out those pictures. I know he's looked at behedings and gore before. Thank you for the perspective.

OP posts:

Cabrinha · 01/02/2015 19:15

That unintentional drip feed changes the reply I was going to make.
Does he look at real people being murdered through a morbid curiosity or are their deaths mere entertainment value?

Honestly, my first thought was "I'd put a fiver on his playing too much Grand Theft Auto".

Would I LTB over looking at FGM posters?
No.
Would it be a small point that potentially seriously undermined how I saw him that could contribute to me leaving him later?
Quite possibly.

Original poster

confusedagain0o · 01/02/2015 19:36

Thanks cabrinha. I think it is morbid curiosity, beheadings, bits of suicide bombers etc. Thank you, your last point does make me think about compatibility. There have been a few things where I question off I actually know him. Im not ready to delve into it at the moment but I appreciate your reply.

OP posts:

SugarOnTop · 01/02/2015 19:54

well usually people do some research/make sure they know what they're talking about when they have an opinion on FGM....so that's all he's doing. there's nothing sinister in his actions. the description of it defies imagination sometimes and i just couldn't picture it so i googled for pics.....i also googled for pics of circumcised penis's too years ago because i hadn't come across one at the time.

Cabrinha · 01/02/2015 21:32

I did think your username might be a clue to this not being the only issue hope you sort out what you want. At the risk of being patronising, you don't have to have a big reason to end things, it just seems easier to do it when you have! It's OK to think, you know, we just don't have common interests / values / outlook on life.

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