Well my heart has been broken again...

[Brandnewstart]

I thought we were separated and that he was trying to work out his feelings on his own but today he has told me he met the OW for a coffee for 'a chat' just before Christmas...

I have been a massive mug. Please tell me to get some self respect and file for divorce. I have seen a solicitor but really thought we could work things out... It is over. Please tell me to get a grip and start making decisions.

What was he chatting to OW about? How long have you been married? Do you have children? I'm sorry you are going through this.

We have been married 11 years with two children. Just about general things apparently, although she told him she would be looking for more if he was offering... He is a dick...

OMG the arse. I read your other post when you were in shock and denial about this b. he is really enjoying having two women waiting for him. Do not let him do this to you.
As I said on other tread tell him he can have her and go as NC ad you can. Do not carry on being nice. He's playing you for a fool.

drum you are right, I have been taken for an idiot. I really can't believe he actually thought it was normal to meet up with her. I feel like I am reliving it all again and it bloody hurts...

Apparently it has all been very difficult for him?! Failing to see that he has made it all very bloody difficult by being a lying, cheating scumbag.

Dump him for good but be prepared for him to all of sudden 'want you' again

Sounds like he enjoys winding to up to be honest.

Contact yourt solicitor again. Get the ball rolling.

He's no good to you. Take care of yourself and your DC.

As the person who knows him best you should ask yourself why would he tell you that?

It's either to hurt you or to make it sound like he has other options. Or he's just a dick. Either way get the ball rolling and get the hell out.

Some 'men' never ever grow up.

Didn't see your other thread Brandnewstart but I reckon the clue is in your name here. Go for it! All bridges and boats are burning, there's Life yonder! As in, here I am telling you to get a grip and start making decisions. Get it rolling. Freedom waits patiently beyond tears.

Thank you all so much... He really is a manchild. I will email the solicitor tomorrow and see what my next steps are. I feel so sad it has come to this.

How are you today OP ?

"I feel like I am reliving it all again and it bloody hurts... "

There's another thread going at the moment where someone has discovered an ex - who they also had high hopes of reconciliation with - was actually a twunt. I'll tell you the same thing I told them which is that sometimes you have to have a nasty experience with the ex before the rose-coloured spectacles get well and truly smashed.

It's sad but the thing that will save you is your indignation and anger. Unlike the pain of the initial separation which can leave you feeling winded and unable to do anything, a little well-placed anger can be very energising. Good call getting the solicitor.

I know when you love someone it's hard bit you have to do what's best for YOU.

Does he make you happy?
Can you trust him?
Do you want to live the life you are now?
Is he genuinely sorry?
Are these the actions of someone who loves you?

It doesn't sound as if he is sorry at all. He isn't acting like someone who wants to make the marriage work.

I'm ok. I did send some horrible texts to him but I have made a promise to myself that I will only send texts about the kids or house from now on. He is in a fantasy land where I'm sure he sees the texts as validation that I am truly horrible and he is the victim.

cogito I think you are right. I am much more angry now and he has burnt his bridges with me. I think I do still love him to some extent, or who he used to be, but it isn't enough. I will not be second best to anyone.

He is a total shit.

Yes he is a total shit. Keep updating how you are brandnew.