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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

I Manned Up

12 replies

faitaccompli · 02/01/2015 21:52

I helped him pack his bags and he has gone. He was horrid to my son - really horrid (son is only 13) and he was pretty horrid to me a lot of the time But I am really going to miss him. He says he will love me forever but understands why I have turfed him out, and that he hates the things he has said and done to my son and me. He is on medication that doesn't help his erratic moods, but that is not my problem now.

In the past he said he would change, but he can't. So on my own again. So sad.

OP posts:

FunkyBoldRibena · 02/01/2015 22:40

Surely it is better to be happy on your own than miserable with a horrid man being horrid to you both?

Well done, i think you have done the right thing.

Cloudhowe63 · 02/01/2015 23:07

Well done in standing up for yourself and your son.

Drumdrum60 · 02/01/2015 23:20

You have done the right thing

RandomMess · 02/01/2015 23:24

Well done, sounds like a very painful decision

pictish · 02/01/2015 23:26

You have a choice but your son doesn't. You have 100% done the right thing. Well done.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/01/2015 23:32

It's better to be on your own than with an erratic abusive partner. Him saying he loves you rings pretty hollow in the circumstances. Glad you've stood up for yourself and your DS. You're the ones that matter most. Good luck

chemistc · 02/01/2015 23:32

You have done the right thing. Well done for having the strength to do it. Now you can concentrate on yourself and your son. Of course you will miss him but just remember why you left him in those moments.

Original poster

faitaccompli · 03/01/2015 08:57

He was diagnosed ADHD some 4 years ago and prescribed speed (I forget the name on the box of drugs) but the side effects are aggressiveness, paranoia, irritability etc.

I think he has been misdiagnosed (or at least this is not the whole problem) and presents classic bipolar symptoms. He went to the GP 3 months ago and was put in a 6 month waiting list to be referred re bipolar. He is depressed and the speed makes it worse.

But I simply can't put my son through this any more.

OP posts:

hesterton · 03/01/2015 09:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hissy · 03/01/2015 10:42

well done love! well done!

you have absolutely made the right decision. for him and for you!

no excuses for being a shithead. depression doesn't do that. being a shithead does :)

BitOutOfPractice · 03/01/2015 11:29

Well done that woman. You're right, it is sad. Sad that he was unable to be a decent partner and step parent. Be sad about that. But not about the string decisive action you have taken.

MaudWilsonsPoodle · 04/01/2015 17:35

Well done. Make sure your Ds knows how much you love him and be clear that you are not going to let this abuser back into your lives.

The possibilty that he is ill will not have made the abuse your Ds suffered any easier to cope with. He was abused by that shithead.

Flip