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Relationships

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Original poster

The one

21 replies

maa9144 · 01/01/2015 03:21

Just out of curiosity did any of you know your DH was going to be the one you would marry after the first date?. Please share your story

OP posts:

jack45132 · 01/01/2015 08:28

Something deep in my unconscious told me about my wife. Physical attraction was good but not fireworks, but there was something extra when I looked into her eyes. Knew her for a while before dating. My immature 20 year old brain new something special was there.. I wasn't looking for it, which I think was important.

GingerbreadPudding · 01/01/2015 08:40

I didn't but my husband claims he did. I thought he was a nice guy, a bit quiet. He says he was being quiet because he knew I was the one and he didn't want to say anything stupid. He moved in after two weeks by which time I was sure. So it didn't take long. I think it helps that we were both well into our thirties and had been around the block, knew what we wanted etc,

Vivacia · 01/01/2015 09:16

I don't believe in The One and marriage isn't for me. So 14 happy years and three wonderful children later he still isn't actually the one I would marry .

teapuddles · 01/01/2015 09:37

Yes, I knew on the first date. Just a quiet feeling of recognition that this was the person I would share my life with and marry. My friend can still remember me telling her so when she asked how the date had gone.

I was 17 and it was 48 years ago.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 01/01/2015 09:40

Dh knew.

I've known about six or seven times ;)

Trickytricky · 01/01/2015 09:42

I don't think I believe in "the one" and definitely didn't think DH was "the one" after the first date! I knew I liked him and wanted to see him again/get to know him more.

Whenever friends have been on first dates and had a good time and got on well but don't "feel fireworks" I always encourage them to go on a second date and see what happens. I think far too many people expect "fireworks" on a first date. If you like them and want to see them again/find out more about them then don't let a lack of fireworks ruin what could be a great relationship.

R4roger · 01/01/2015 09:48

Well he was the best at sex

avocadotoast · 01/01/2015 09:49

Hah, no. But then I've known him since I was 14, so that would've been a bit weird

teapuddles · 01/01/2015 09:52

I don't believe in "The One", this concept didn't exist when I was young.

That doesn't mean that you can't recognise someone that you have a real connection with. One of the many "One's" you might meet.

TheTravellingLemon · 01/01/2015 09:53

I knew that he could be the one. I knew that he had the potential to be. We had a good laugh, he was down to earth, genuine and we seemed to share the same morals and values. I knew he was the one after about 3 months. It was not a firework moment for me either, it was a lot more gentle than that. Like when I realised I had started to think of him as a member of my family rather than just a boyfriend. He's still the best person I have ever met.

FolkGirl · 01/01/2015 10:18

I don't believe in The One. I think we meet many people over the course of our lives who have the potential to be The One, if the time and place etc is right.

I think it's very fortuitous to meet one of those people at the right time and think those of you who have are incredibly lucky :)

Leviticus · 01/01/2015 10:32

The One is Hollywood bollocks. It makes no logical sense and keeps people in shit relationships with people who treat them badly.

To answer your question though - I was unsure about DH for the first couple of months but as I got to know him and see all the little things you'd never know just as a friend I loved him and knew that I would like to marry him. I hadn't felt that way about any previous boyfriend.

But... If I hadn't met him and married him I'm pretty sure I'd be happily married to someone else and so would he.

Joysmum · 01/01/2015 11:16

He was was one of my best mates to start with as he was 14 and I was 16 when we met.

We tried a relationship but as I was doing A levels and he was starting GCSEs it clearly was a big age gap back then!

I moved away for a temporary contract at 19 and he was the only I missed. He made a move when I got back and it was clear that there was the chemistry as well as the friendship from that moment so I had no doubts after that. He always knew.

MadeMan · 01/01/2015 12:23

"I thought he was a nice guy, a bit quiet. He says he was being quiet because he knew I was the one..."

I've never believed in The One, but I had a sort of similar experience when I was a teenager with a girl that I liked back then; it was like I didn't even have to try somehow, a really calm laid back feeling when I was around her. We did go out for a few months and then we split up so obviously she wasn't "The One", but I still kind of hang on to that idea of how it should feel with someone else.

When I remember some of the crap relationships I've had and I read things about people playing games, f*cking about and chasing, it all seems like so much hard work and not what relationships should be like; I don't have friends or family that cause me drama so why would I want a girlfriend or wife to do so?

ladymariner · 01/01/2015 12:54

I knew. I didn't fall in love there and then but I took one look and thought "there he is". Really weird feeling. 25 years together now and love him more than ever.....

Dowser · 01/01/2015 13:18

Aw. We had a date got on well. Fancied another date. Again got on well. Wasn't looking for marriage.

I just felt very comfortable with him and very safe to be around him.

We started off as friends and very quickly that friendship grew. He was open and honest and so was I.

We'd both had very long marriages and had both been good marriage partners.

We'd both come from decent families, from good parents who had been good role models.

We had so much going for us that was safe and comfortable , lots of respect and trust, which was good as we lived about 25 miles away from each other and we made each other laugh....a lot.

He reminds me of my favourite uncle. A quiet, dignified man who thought the world of my aunt. They were together over 60 years. I cannot believe how lucky I am to have attracted a man of the same calibre.

It wasn't long before we realised we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with each other.

We are ridiculously happy....and we still laugh a lot.

Every relationship should be this easy.

MadeMan · 01/01/2015 13:31

"Every relationship should be this easy."

It would be nice if that was the case for everyone. Lovely post.

opalstones · 01/01/2015 13:38

DH and I had one night stands and casual sex throughout university. He says he was in love with me during this time, but I was clueless, and to be honest, just after the shag.

We got together officially 2 years after graduation. He had been in love with me for so long, the outpouring of love I got from him was incredible. One of the most intense feelings of my life. Being with him felt like coming home.

We were 24 by this point, and I was just as in love as he had been since 18. Within 6 months of being 'official boyfriend and girlfriend' we were committed to a life together. I knew he was the one.

Original poster

maa9144 · 01/01/2015 14:03

Thank you to everyone who responded so far. Such thoughtful responses!. I am in NYC but love posting on mumsnet for this reason. I am asking because I had a first date with someone who contacted me online for days ago and we really clicked but I don't want to get ahead of myself. He asked me out on a second date and said he would be in touch this week or next. Have not heard from him yet and I am continuing to date others but I still keep thinking of him!

OP posts:

Trickytricky · 02/01/2015 09:27

Why don't you contact him and ask if he wants to go on a second date. Nothing to lose and then you'll know either way!

arlagirl · 02/01/2015 09:29

H said I was the one on our first meeting.
I didn't get that.
Now divorcing

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