Aggression in my voice

[Hetts1965]

I've realised that when I talk to my daughter 12 I'm being aggressive in my tone of voice and body language. I didn't realise this until recently and now I know I'm doing this a lot of the time with my fiancée as well. I'm being intolerant, impatient and basically quite rude. I don't know how to stop this. Can anyone help me please?

Watch how someone you think does it well does it and copy. Look at their body language, the intonation in their voice and literally try to mimic it. It will feel weird but you'll start picking it up - like when you've spent a lot of time with someone and start picking up their mannerisms. If there is any actual aggression behind what you're saying and how you're feeling then that's a seperate, bigger, issue.

The first step to changing any behaviour is to recognise that you're doing it so that's a breakthrough really. Have you read the book how to talk so teens will listen and listen so teens will talk?
If it were me I'd actually sit dd and dp down and say you've noticed this and your intention is to change it, apologise to them as it will be a step to moving on. Good luck