Hello, I have never written anything like this before but, I could do with an advice. Basically I have been married for 4 years but been with my husband for 10 years we have 2 kids together, I have always loved and always cared for him. The problem is I don't think he cares about me anymore (come to think of it I don't think he ever did) when we had our first child he cheated on me when DA was only 4 months I only found out as I got std from him he denied it first but later confessed saying he was under the influence of alcohol. It was very hard for me but I forgave him. The problem is I work long hours I never have time for myself and I pay for absolutely everything he never paid for a thing since we been together,he tells me I'm ugly sometimes and he has pushed and shoved me at times even when I was pregnant. He has told me I'm lazy even though I work average 60 hours a week plus do the house chores. He tells I should just work 7 days a week as I make too much mess when I'm home. The worst thing is he embarrasses me in front of my friend by telling them I'm a crap wife and mother. He attacked me once infront of my child and now she often remembers and asks why daddy was"killing mummy"
I have done everything for him however I get nothing in return. He is a great dad but I feel like walking on eggshells and constantly worry about upsetting him. Even though I know this is wrong I don't want to brak up my family and worry for kids and I don't want to be a single parent.