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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

What should I do, bf left XMAS eve

26 replies

vikkigalvin · 25/12/2014 19:06

Hi,

I've been on site for over a year but never posted as too shy. Unfortunately I'm too embarrassed to speak to my family about this. My boyfriend of four years and me are having problems in our relationship. He lets me down frequently, very frequently. Last Saturday he was supposed to pick me up at 2pm and we was supposed to be going to winter wonderland (great). He ignores my phone calls all day and then he text to say he is going to the pub after work, I need to wait for him until he is ready. I was furious as I was sitting ready. He then tried to turn up at 7.30pm. I didn't answer my door and told him I'd already gone out. Is that out of order? Because of that, he has refused to talk to me since and cancelled Christmas with me and my family. It's broken my heart and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say or do. It's XMAS day and I'm in bed crying because I'm so hurt (and embarrassed in front of my family). Can anybody help me as to what I should do??

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 25/12/2014 19:08

Nothing, you dump him unless you've already been dumped.

Anyone who makes plans for the day and doesn't turn up is not that into you.

Move on, 2015 WILL be better than having a shit boyfriend

LaurieFairyCake · 25/12/2014 19:09

And you have nothing to be embarassed about

magoria · 25/12/2014 19:18

Tell your family let them look after you.

Take a few days to feel sorry for yourself.

Then new year new start without someone who only thinks you are worth sitting around waiting for him for 5.5 hours.

flatbellyfella · 25/12/2014 19:29

If you stick with him, you will be on MN many times in the coming months & years. If he has no respect for you now, it won't just dramaticly change .

whitsernam · 25/12/2014 20:38

You count yourself lucky that you aren't married to him and have 3 dcs with him..... He just gave you a great Christmas present: he's shown you who he really is, before you're in that deep. You feel bad right now, but you will be soooo glad you did not marry this poor excuse for a man.

NoRoomAtTheGin · 25/12/2014 20:49

He is doing all these things to make you annoyed enough to dump him. So dump him and get some self respect

WhatsGoingOnEh · 25/12/2014 20:55

Next time, don't just pretend you've gone out - actually do go out. You might meet someone better. :)

Don't waste a single second more crying over this selfish idiot. Don't ruin your own Christmas!

AWholeLottaNosy · 25/12/2014 20:59

He sounds a horrid selfish and immature man. He's done you a massive favour by showing you who he really is. You are worth so much more than this.

Hissy · 25/12/2014 21:35

he's not even man enough to dump you himself? he has to concoct some wankery bad enough for you to lose it and dump him.

what a spectacular wanker he is. let him stay dumped, keep talking to us, we'll keep you busy!

Original poster

vikkigalvin · 26/12/2014 00:04

Thank you so much ladies! I did talk to family in end, and they made me feel So much stronger. Now so have you!

OP posts:

hiphoplollipop30 · 26/12/2014 20:07

Sounds like my ex. Good for you for standing up to it! Do not back down, he is wrong, he let you down and now is trying his best to make you feel guilty and come crawling back to him.

Please don't back down, because I think he is likely to make an appearance again either to try and make you feel worse, or to pretend like none of this happened.

It did happen, and he was out of order.

If this happened to a friend, what would you tell her to do?

hiphoplollipop30 · 26/12/2014 20:10

Don't respond to anything he has to say, because he will be in touch.

It will drive him mad to have lost control and you will feel much better because of this.

No contact - he has no value for your feelings, only his own.

mrplumb · 27/12/2014 03:58

Hi mums net.this is vikki bf. Please remember there is two sides too every story before you judge me.maybe I should show you all the texts sent between us before you judge me.i said I would be there at 5.30 and asked if I could go out for a Xmas drink. Vikki said yes.thats why I turned up at 7.30.vikki knew this...why ask me 2 come round if she was not in?
When I called her she told me to buzz her flat.when I knocked 3 times while waiting outside she tells me she was out....she was not in..and I'm the bad 1.....!

FrogIsATwatInASantaHat · 27/12/2014 04:09

errr ok. Sounds out you two are better off apart (if you are who you say you are)

mrplumb · 27/12/2014 04:14

Absolutely. ..she constantly contacts me...ask her.my name is Michael.

mrplumb · 27/12/2014 04:48

Also...when I buzzed her flat..she said ring 146..and said I'm in.when I told her I was outside she then told me she was not in.
She never had no intention on meeting me because she was out shaging someone else in her flat!!!!
As I said mums net there is two sides to every story. ..All men are not bad.!!

gamerchick · 27/12/2014 05:31

a2011x · 27/12/2014 05:56

Load of rubbish!

FiftyShadesofScreeeeeeeam · 27/12/2014 06:01

Mums net

DixieNormas · 27/12/2014 06:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheKnackeredChef · 27/12/2014 06:37

OP, I'm so sorry this man has found you on here. I've let MN know. Hope you're managing to have a nice Christmas despite all this.

CuttedUpPear · 27/12/2014 07:20

School's out til Dec 5th.....this will run amd run....

FrogIsATwatInASantaHat · 27/12/2014 08:42

I reported his post..

FrogIsATwatInASantaHat · 27/12/2014 08:44

Shaging ??

LittleMissRayofHope · 27/12/2014 08:51

What a dick.
Agree with PP's,he is showing you his true colours. That a) he isn't into you anymore b) he doesn't respect you -at all and c) he's a coward by not just being grown up enough to breakup with you.

Hope you had a decent day and you will move on. Life doesn't stop just because your heart breaks. In time you will look back and wonder why you accepted his shitty treatment
&

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